Last night in my dreams, on a battlefield of grand proportion, I wrestled with, said goodbye to, and grieved some old samskaras.
These old habits that once defended me had started to weaken and some even turn against me. The lines of enemy and ally blurred. In the furry of the encounter, old habits and beliefs that I had diligently crafted and carried with me ceased. Their valiant service morned. Their purpose in protecting and projecting the me I felt I needed to be absorbed into the earth.
There is sadness in the awkward void left behind as these familiar relics break down and fade. There is also great freedom in acknowledging I will be alright and maybe even better without them.
Now, I’m ready for the next me. The me that will likely try to create another troop of samskaras to guard my latest fears and weaknesses, and the next wave of perceived inadequacies.
I will watch for that and see if perhaps fewer are needed now. I will move with refined awareness and ease in knowing I can do and be anything. I can experience loss without losing. I can be complete in the incomplete, regardless of my arms and artillery.
As my old habits release with the dawn, I find the ground fertile to experience this new beginning.
Without my samskaras there, there seems to be more room for dancing.