Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Calm & Resilience

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Make It A Day

It should have taken 20 minutes, but instead I sat in traffic for an hour and a half, I spilled tea in my lap, and I had a headache.  Immediately, frustration bubbled up in me and I said, “Grrr, I’m having such a BAD day!”   Why????

Why is it rational thought encourages us to label everything, to justify experiences, to identify feelings, and define our world as “good” or “bad”?   Rational thought is a great gift, but it sometimes gets in the way.

The ego steps in to say, “this is hard work, it’s a big challenge, so to help you feel better, let’s call it bad”. (or maybe even use more expletive words)

What qualifies as a bad day…or a good day?  Does it change over time as new labels are affixed to experiences?  Can experiences be relabeled?  Why is it easier to label the bad before the good?  Why do we need labels?

Perhaps, instead of creating labels for the challenges, the hard work, the setbacks, the traumas, they could just be there…all just part of LIFE.

Would I really be loved less if people around me didn’t hear me complaining, if I told of my day without defining it?  Is the outcome truly different if I call a situation good or bad?  Or, can I simply move through the experience and see these challenges as adding to who I am, but not defining me or causing that roller-coaster of emotions.

The tea in my lap dried up.  Deep breaths alleviated my headache.  I arrived in time and my day went on.

I think I will work on not having so many good days or bad days, but just having more days.


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Move From a Place of Joy

Susan Kerr - Joy

When you do something…

…are you fully present?

…does it make the corners of your mouth crease upwards?

…does it make your belly tingle?

…does your spirit dance like a leaf on the wind?

…do others around want to jump in?

…can you feel their curiosity about this delightful state of you?

…do you feel the heat, the light of your true self shining?

…do your eyes sparkle?

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!  That is JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let them in.  Teach them how.  Remind YOURSELF!

We need more JOY!

Sparkle…laugh…love…find that natural state of being —

and do it over and over and over again.


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Racing to Get Her Zen On

Racing      The door flung open, bells slashing loudly and abruptly against the wooden molding.  She raced in, tearing her coat off, kicking her shoes from her feet, keys dangling from her teeth.  Her breath was heavy, forehead glistening with sweat.  And, as the other students sat on their mats waiting for class to begin, she looked up through her tousled bangs and shouted, “I’m here to get my Zen on!”

Since when do we live in a world where we must turn our Zen on?  Why is it we need to make formal space in order for us to experience such a natural state?

What would happen if we no longer forced spaces in our day for “being in the moment” and instead each day naturally contained them — opportunities for breathing deeply and richly, moments of acute awareness of and engagement in our surroundings, and action from a place of compassion and kindness?  What if every day included time to play, to create, to enjoy our food and each other – not scheduled time, but naturally occurring moments in our day?  What if we could let go of goals and outcomes so that all of our actions could naturally lead to positive end results?

A few weeks ago, my mom greeted a work colleague with a question – “What are you doing tomorrow, on your day off?”  The friend paused and, after rendering a bit of a puzzled expression,  said, “I don’t have days on and days off…I just have days.”  He went on to explain that there is no difference in his experience of “work days” and “non-work days” as he treats every day as a gift and finds reward and ease in each day.

That is getting your Zen on!

Class ended.  She slowly stood up with a soft sparkle now in her eyes and a gentle smile in the corners of her mouth.  Her movement was easeful, her air calm and floaty – she was almost unrecognizable from the form we saw racing in the door just an hour before.  She stood back and let others move first through the doorway.  She asked one student about their health, another where they had been the prior week.  She had an awareness about her, an aura of wisdom, an unbridled confidence, without arrogance.

She had indeed gotten her Zen on and hopefully it will stay with her a little longer each time it happens until she arrives at that place where her Zen evenly flows throughout each and every day.

Until then, we’ll keep the light burning, the door open, and hold a space for her and all the others who are racing to get their Zen on.


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Enjoy the Ride

Image

Just the other day, I walked out of my house to find a praying mantis sitting on the hood of my car. I almost missed seeing him, his sleek self trying his best to blend in with the silver paint. I wondered why he chose to perch there. I wondered why I assumed it was a “he.” I wondered if he knew that I was on my way to teach a yoga class, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was planning to come with me. So, I said, “You know I am getting ready to go and you might not like the breeze that comes with driving down the busy roads to the studio. You may want to hop down now.”

It didn’t seem to faze that praying mantis. It just sat there on my hood, even despite the gentle prod I gave it with my finger. So, I started the car and slowly backed down the driveway.

I paused the car a few times in the driveway to offer it a chance to jump down and choose another place to sit, but it didn’t budge in the least. In fact, as I put the car in drive and headed up the street, that little praying mantis simply spread its wings in the increasing breeze of our forward momentum. I rolled the window down at the next stop sign to once again encourage it to hop off as I knew we were soon leaving our snuggly little neighborhood. Could it hear me? Did it understand the imminent danger in heading out onto busier streets? It didn’t seem to care the way I thought it should.

So, we kept on going. As we reached 25 mph, its legs shook a bit and its wings ruffled along its back, but that praying mantis looked amazingly calm…happy (if I dare claim to know what a happy versus angry praying mantis looks like).

The road became more curvy and bustled with cars and trucks zooming past in the opposite direction. I was now up to 45 mph and I thought surely it couldn’t hold on, surely it would be scooped up in the wind and carried off into somebody’s grill. Oh, no. Now I was responsible for its fate!

Alas, we arrived at the studio. Can you believe that little guy was still there?! Just sitting on my hood as if nothing had happened. Me?  — I was wings ruffled, head spinning, utterly exhausted from the experience. That praying mantis remained perched contentedly on the hood of my car, apparently quite happy with the entire turn of events. I asked if this was its intended destination, as if it had somewhere to go and had it arrived on time. It just sat there, not so much as flinching as I bent over, just inches from its small, curious face.

Then, it occurred to me.

Perhaps this praying mantis really didn’t need a ride. Perhaps it really had nowhere to go. Perhaps that praying mantis was just there to remind me that the journey – the quivering in your legs, the wind in your wings — is your real purpose and arriving at your destination is secondary.

The praying mantis smiled…and as I walked off towards the studio, I was almost certain I heard him say, “WOW — what an awesome ride!”

Enjoy the ride!


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Mind The Gap

Image          Due to age and changing topography, the London subway trains (also known as the Tube) often arrive at their platform stations with a noticeable gap between the floor of the train and the platform edge.  With its arrival at each station, the train announces to passengers to Mind the Gap as they depart the train.

On the path of life, as in the London subway system, rarely is the pavement straight or level.  Often there are small, subtle changes in the alignment of the floor with the platform that might cause you to stumble, but with a little awareness and an adjustment to your step, you are on your way.  At other times, the step up or step down requires a lot more attention.  The gap is wider, requiring more strength, increased agility, and greater care as you navigate the divide…a tumble here could really set you back. 

Fortunately, a recorded voice reminds passengers on the Tube to be aware.  The voice is loud and distinct and hard to ignore.  In life, that voice is more subtle and comes from within – but it’s there!  Tuning in, increasing your awareness, and allowing that voice to guide you may be the difference between a serious tumble and smooth stepping.

Whether the path requires that you step up or your best move is to step down, whether the gap is huge or just a small crack, your approach to what lies ahead makes all the difference in whether you reach your destination successfully.

So, stay flexible, be aware, step up, or back down, know that the divides and uneven pavement along the way are just part of the topography…and you’ll be just fine, as long as you mind the gap.    

Safe travels!


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To start again

To start something takes bravery and courage, but the body and mind usually have at least a base level of security, a feeling of excitement, curiosity, and anticipation about the great things that could potentially come.

To start again, to pick up where you left off — to overcome defeat, loss, pain — takes something even deeper and stronger than bravery or courage.  It takes a faith, a deep down belief in yourself that you are going to be OK, even though you and often many of those around you cannot see, feel, or imagine that.  Yet somehow, you find it – first faith, then hope, then courage.  The fog slowly begins to clear, the heart softly open again, the colors of the Universe gradually return to their vibrancy – and your resiliency buffs the patina of your soul and makes you to shine once again.

In the words of my dear friend, Susan Kerr, painter, sculptor, writer, coach, inspiration to so many, “and hope found me and I was able to start again.”

***********

start again. 

i had loved for years

i had held and cherished

and when she became sick

i had doctored and fed and wished and prayed

i had taken her back and forth

forth and back 

to doctors

i had cried

i had hoped

i had seen her recover

and wished beyond reason

and then the day came 

when i had to decide

and i had to let her go

to move on into this world of something else

we can transition, sleep, heaven?

and i did and so it was

and my heart fell out of my chest onto the floor

and it stayed there for days and months

nights were the hardest

as every day she would stay with me

lay with me

invite me to tenderness

she would see me

and i would hold her

and we would be

LOVE

LOVE

LOVE

and my broken heart one morning

saw the sun again

and another day some days later

it felt the sun again

and days later still

i was able to smile and later laugh

and even later still lift my face to that sun of all things miraculous

and then later still i picked up my paints

and hope found me

and i was able to 

start again.

                                                      – Susan Kerr

***********

Click on “Inspiring Images” to view Susan’s painting entitled “start again.”To view more paintings and poems by Susan Kerr, visit her website:

http://www.susankerrinspiration.com


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Starting…

Starting is so hard.

The line between fluttering butterflies and full-on nausea is often quite difficult to distinguish.

The anticipation of what is to come once you start can bring a huge smile to the face – a sparkle in the eyes –or it can paralyze even the strongest, most confident amongst us.

Why is it so difficult to take that first step?  To launch?  To just do it?

Is it an ability we perceive lacking in ourselves?  Is it faith we need more of?  Or, is it fear?  Oh, that darn fear!

The greatest safety tool our bodies provide is our physiological response to fear.  It tells us when to pump more blood through the body, when to send fighting cells out to protect us, when to run, when to hide, when we are in danger, and when we are OK.

The heart starts beating, the beads of sweat glisten on the skin, a rosy huge rushes over the cheeks and body.  The body is alive – sensing, feeling, sparkling!

But, as humans, we have also been blessed with rational thought.  As the body awakes to change with excitement, rational thought steps in with “what if,” “oh, no,” “there could be greater danger on the other side,” “there is a chance you can’t do this.”

Handy tools at times to protect us, but more often pesky little bugs that swarm around our heads and distract us from doing what we are meant to do.

So, maybe we can compromise.  Watch those pesky little bugs making patterns in the sky above our heads, give them space to flutter about more like butterflies than gnats, and call them courage.  In the end, inviting them to come with us, hover a little more at a distance, move us forward instead of holding us back.

Then, maybe we can sparkle a little more and starting won’t be so hard.

   If you could get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed. 

–David Viscott

 

 


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A New Journey Begins

I am full of advice for anyone who will listen.  My words fill my head all the time.  And, yet, when faced with the simple task of how to start this blog, every single word, thought, and vision escapes me.

As best as I can, I hope to share with you each Monday a short thought, a quote, an inspiration, a nugget to nibble on, or a simple practice to try, to inspire your well-being and to help you find strength, joy, and richness in all that you do.

And, so, the journey begins…