Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Calm & Resilience


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Resentment

I didn’t listen to myself.

I didn’t present myself clearly.

My primary goal to avoid conflict,

I jeopardized my safety to ensure my survival.

And just like that I feel devalued.

My experience is in direct contrast with my values.

I chose inner conflict rather than anger.

Oh, I get angry, but I turn it all on me,

Suppressing outward expression out of fear,

For the sake of compliance.

Meeting the needs of others supplants

My capacity to meet my own needs.

Sacrificing my internal sense of security for connection

Causes an internal disconnection between my own heart and mind.

My body bristles at the assault and becomes a harbor for my anger

Disappointment surfaces as dis-ease and lingers

In my consciousness and beyond.

Suddenly, the sweet voice within that I so defiantly ignored

Grabs my full attention as it says,

“You did your best…

And they did too.”

“You are capable of keeping yourself safe now.

Be strong, consistent, and clear.

Make choices that preserve your freedom and safety.

Love yourself above all else

And you will never have to sacrifice your values for security.”

A new state of being immerges

Free of disappointment

Free of feeling wronged, hurt, and weak.

Free of resentment.

Free to be grateful.

Free to forgive.

Free of burdens

and unconditionally loved.


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Unlearned lessons

I’m learning that your opinions about me come from your experiences not mine.

Your beliefs, values and habits were formed not by my behaviors but by your experiences.

So next time I judge you or think you are making a mistake, I will remind myself to pause and explore the roots of my feelings.

They were more likely than not aimed at something or someone that came long before this moment with you. This encounter just somehow shook them up or rattled them loose.

If we can both remember this we can both forgive and understand that the mistakes of other are really just reminders of our own unlearned lessons.