Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Peace & Resilience


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Outta my mind

 

 

pour outThere are times when I should say, “no.”  There are times when what I need is to pause, breathe, and make room.  There are times when I will give myself permission to let go of outcomes and expectations.  Times when I am choosing not to make decisions emotionally or driven by ego…when I make decisions from my heart, where my inner knowing takes the lead.

In those times, it might seem as if I don’t care about what needs to get done as I slow down and slough off responsibilities.  Rather, this decision-making is full of care.  I’m not getting caught in the story of what this will look or feel like – I am dedicated to getting out of the thoughts in my mind and into the kindness of my heart.

It’s not that I don’t care…it’s just that I don’t mind.


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The Snag

The Fabric 2

A stirring, an imbalance, an unthinkable happens and there I am…swirling in thoughts and emotions.

Although we seem unconnected, we are tethered undeniably to others’ experiences, their pain, their suffering, their anger.  Their division and righteousness becomes mine, even when I don’t want it to be.

And then comes the arduous task of sifting.  Sifting through the messages in all of this…not what it means to my community or the statement it makes about my society, but the fundamental lesson for me in the perceived tragedies and suffering that stand before me.

I dare not admit how my thoughts flow in circular motions…how I cannot point at the right or wrong…it all just seems to come back to me, to the fear I have that any one of them could be me.

…the “victim”…the “suffering”…the “perpetrator”…the “responsible one.”

These labels belong to my deepest shadows and like threads dancing on a loom, have long since been woven into the fabric of me.

So, I turn my anger to the scariest one in an attempt to cut that thread.  And then the story unfolds, my experience is defined by calling out the grossest attributes of others although deep down inside I know they are still undeniably tethered to me, undeniably me.

It is then that I must fill with compassion, for each of them and for me. I must allow these situations and the contrast they provide to take me back to the center of my being, to turn inward and calm the swirling from the inside.  Instead of needing the contrast to tug at the fabric from the outside as if separate from me, I turn inward to reweave the threads, to smooth the snag so that the fabric on the outside lays out more seamlessly.

Each time the contrast begins to pull and tug at me again, I slow the loom, treasure that thread, and remember that no matter what any of us have done or who any of us seem to be,  the threads are the same – it is a complex fabric that tethers you and me.


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A Call to Activism

Live Oak - Activism

In the darkness, fear and anger deepen their grip on me.  Bumping up against ideals, opinions, and stories that I have formed, with urgency I am compelled to avenge imbalances and inequities.  I dash in to sweep up the broken pieces of what I perceive as attacks against me and struggle surrounding me.  I am driven to defend principles that through my ego’s eye define me.

This posture that I take implies superiority and gives way to judgment.  In my rush to right the wrongs, I become the being I so justly argue against.  Resentment bubbles up and my ego says, “they are not worthy…they should be punished…they do not belong…silence them…shun them.”

And then my heart whispers, “wait…they too are suffering.”  Those opinions I defend and just as importantly those I oppose are here to guide, test, and inform me.

To release my struggle, my fear, my anger, and my suffering, others do not need to pay a conjured debt for who they are.

Compassion, patience, and trust become my weapons against the injustices, inequities, and imbalances that swirl around me.

Allowing it all to exist and maintaining harmony, care, and peace…that is the true work of an activist.


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Finding Joy

I love finding joy in unusual places.

In the raindrop that pokes my cheek and the wind that tosses my hair.

In the pattern of seeds that accidentally scatter on the floor.

In the slow looking that comes with the crowd of cars extending my commute.

In the exhale.

Here I am in my natural state of being. I feel no urgency, only a sense of calm and strength. I begin to know the essence of love.

Maybe finding joy is my super power.


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Just Ripe

When I am balanced mind and body, I am just ripe. There is no bitterness, no tough skin to cut through. I am neither too soft and falling apart.

Picked too soon, I am raw, needy, unready. Left to ripen too long and I begin to sour and decay.

Perfectly cultivated and connected to my core, I am a source of sustenance, giving flavor and nourishment without expecting anything in return.

Delicious, sweet and juicy, is what you get when I give myself ample time on the vine.


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Hold Out Your Hand

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As you navigate the path of life, never forget how special you are, how worthy you are of love.  Of self-love.

Hold your own hand, cradle your own heart in your healing palms.  Feel the full bond of acknowledgement, acceptance, and allowing.

When you love yourself, all the other relationships in your life will thrive. No need for anything more.  For by loving yourself, you are loving all.

You are perfectly imperfect, divine and beautiful, whole in every aspect of you…just the way you are.

Love all of that, all of you, and the path will be clear.

 

[due to a publication glitch, the earlier version of this post was inadvertently deleted…apologies for any duplicity]


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Less labeling, more living

I no longer have weekdays and weekends. I simply have days.

I no longer have good days or bad days. I simply have days.

Some days feel heavier and on those days I go slow.

Some days feel lighter and on those days I shine a bit brighter.

Whether heavy or light, I live fully and freely in each day.

It feels better to live without labels.