I send messages to myself in little ways to care more, nourish better, rest more fully, And then I blatantly ignore those messages.

I harden on the outside, contract on the inside, and push on at the most critical junctures because sometimes it’s easier to set myself up for the transition by considering myself broken and needing fixing.

So I let myself become weak, vulnerable, malnourished just so I can love and tend to myself.

It seems an innate component of the mechanics of being that sometimes we need to breakdown to build up.