Whether by myself or with many,
Warm or cold,
In a place familiar or the unknown,
At the moment I begin to feel disconnected,
I wrap myself in my memories and experiences,
The times when I felt or longed for love,
And those precious moments I encountered,
even if just briefly,
the unconditional essence of my being,
Always there, all ways there.
Cloaked in this love, I am never alone.
Today I begin again…not as a punishment or starting over but launching from a new starting line.
To begin again is to feel into an experience in a new way and invite…and then allow… an unexpected outcome.
To joyously and curiously invite variety, spontaneity, and change in such a way as to begin again and begin again, freely cultivating an openness to the unknown while at the same time feeling stable, connected, confident, and grounded.
To begin again is to be fully present, wildly open, and happy in every moment.
When the energy in a situation gets big do you get bigger?
When the energy gets big, do you get littler?
Neither is right or wrong, they just produce different effects.
Where I match the energy carefully and skillfully in its bigness, riding the inhale to its peak, I can take that energy by the hand and usher it to a more stable space.
When I remain small in the big energy I model a means to come back to center, a way to arrive home on the wave of the exhale.
So I can choose whether to breathe in and ride up or breathe out and come back. Where I get into trouble is if I only head one way and forget that there is an inhale and an exhale in every encounter and that big and little are compliments as much as contrasts.
“Prepare your doors for departure and cross check, please” said the pilot before departing the gate.
How often in our daily lives do we launch without proper preparation?
The brief pause to transition from one moment to the other – to conduct a cross check and prepare for what comes next – provides clarity, confidence, and confirmation that I am ready to move forward.
This cross check also eliminates potential danger and reduces the likelihood of unfortunate outcomes.
On the rhythm of every breath lies the opportunity to prepare for departure, to make wiser choices, and be ready for what lies ahead.
And, with that next exhale, looking keenly and calmly ahead, I softly whisper, “Cross check complete.”
Whether a soft trickle or a torrent force, allow your life to freely move through and around you.
Maintain the firm and steady sense of earth below you and feel your life caress your edges gliding smoothly along your seams and boundaries. Let that be the reminder of who you are.
This is what it means to be in the flow.
Scattered like the ripest fruit falling away from the tree, petals melt to the ground bearing the raw, delicate heart of the flower.
The breeze carries the evolution of being on its wing.
It is jarring, turbulent, and so beautiful…the scattering…
the falling apart to make something new.
When I feel angry, my world appears abrasive and confrontational.
When I am confused, all is cold and insensitive.
The more beautiful my world feels, the more gentle and receptive it seems.
As I play in this world with wonder, curiosity, and awe, the world invites me to laugh and be free.
When I feel wrapped in care and comfort, I find the world worthy of love.
My world is a reflection of my beliefs, a reflection of what I see on the inside.
My world gives me just what I see.
This is what is real, as long as this is the story I want to see.
Some of the most beautiful things in the world are uneven, off kilter, imbalanced.
As hard as I try to always be in control, to have an answer for every unknown, and to maintain balance, there are those days that remind me that true harmony arises not in maintaining order but in remaining open to the form of the mismatched nature of my experiences with my expectations.
Sometimes imbalance is not only refreshing for the eyes, but needed to reset the soul.
Mired in the fog of fatigue, loss, and self-doubt,
I am more fragile these days,
More prone to tears,
aware of tightness,
weakness,
imbalance.
Heavy and slower moving,
hyper-vigilant,
frenetic,
almost desperate to break free.
Oh, to relieve the longing,
the striving,
the insecurities.
To return to my true nature.
I am more fragile these days,
but not broken.
Tucked away for now,
but I will surely bloom again.
So much of this past year was spent retracted, curled inward, huddled up against myself. Darkness, distractions, and attempts to keep things all the same occupied much of my thinking. Circular thoughts woven into fears. Captive in this castle, spinning my time into the yarn of “what if.”
I imagined I was suffering, experiencing punishment of some sort. Separate from my routine, separate from others, separate from much of what I knew as familiar.
Now, a year later, I am being asked to do something with all the yarn that I have spun. I am being asked to go back to some form of the way things were, to put the yarn away. But I have rather come to enjoy the spinning and might just want to sit and spin some more.
Ah, but it could be time instead for me to learn to knit. There are endless possibilities of where I can go from here and what I can create. If I can only see that every moment is an opportunity to learn and create something new. How fortunate I have been to have this time to spin this yarn.
In this re-emergence as the gates slowly open, it is lovely to see what others have woven. Some have acquired new skills. Connected and inspired from within, they are already knitting. Some have rolled the yarn into balls to store away for another time. Some have just begun to make the yarn. In this experience, I have learned that I can resist the weaving, stumble and climb over all the yarn, or I can learn to knit.
Monday Mindfulness 