Sometimes my roots seem so tangled.  I think I have such secure footing and all I am is a jumble of knots — tight, restricted spaces, so bound by the clenching and grasping, all too familiar way of responding in a space of growth.

The more I try to stretch out and widen my stance, secure my foundation, the more difficult it becomes to untangle, the more I coil my roots in on each other with the trepidation of touching the unknown.

So I wait for the soil to soften, as when the rain comes or the warm sun shines.  I muster the courage to extend just one small tip into the soft and welcoming space around me.

There this brave little part of me, this now untangled root, explores these unknown spaces. I find a stone. Another blockage, another stumbling point, another place to coil and jumble into knots.

Today, I overturn the stone. I dig up new opportunities to grow, not tangled where I’ve been, but stretching out to where I want to go.

As I stretch out, surprisingly I find the roots of others there to hold me and I to hold them as we courageously untangle from ourselves to grow together.

I repress my urge to howl with joy.

I retract my claws against my primal instincts to lunge when angered.

I stiffle tears to hide my sensitivity and stand strong in the face of the fierest storm.

And, each night I curl up so tighly in my attempt to rest in who I am, with hopes of reconciling who you want me to be with my wild ways within.