Challenge can breed fear.
Fear fosters insecurity.
Insecurity inhibits growth.
Growth is a fundamental quality of living.
With growth we can overcome fear.
With every little bit of fear we face
We grow and that growth produces wider bands of safety
Making the next challenge a little easier to face,
Until more and more often the challenges yield directly to growth over fear,
And growth becomes the natural next step closer to joy.
Like begets like.
Peace leads to peace.
Kindness breeds kindness.
Suffering can lead to ease.
Mistakes become opportunities for growth.
Loss makes room for freedom.
Fear dissolves in faith.
Whatever I cultivate as my experience, I have the ultimate power to accept or shift the paradigm. Every experience serves me even when on the surface it may look grim. When I align an experience with the goal of knowing love, the love that is there always – not between people but that creates people – everything comes into balance, harmony prevails.
I no longer need to label my experiences as good or bad when I know that all experiences unfold before me so that I can explore what it is like to be my best self.
This is the process of trust.
The Ackland Museum at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill just hosted an exhibit entitled “Good Object/Bad Object,” inviting visitors to examine works of art that defy customary decorum and could be called “bad” because they are unpredictably designed yet they achieve an emotional depth and resonant beauty equal to “good” art.
Bad objects are opportunities to explore the edge of our comfort zone and try on new ways of seeing the world.
When the role is taken on responsibly, a bad object can be the catalyst of change and inspire different thinking.
Isn’t it interesting how quickly we humans need to label things as good or bad when often those characteristics are circumstantial. Nature doesn’t operate that way.
In humans, often when a bad object occurs without sufficient planning and understanding, the artist might become defensive or even resentful, denying accountability for their creation. If they have not been provided the encouragement and freedom to create outside of traditional constructs, the artist might try to hide the bad object, its potential emotional depth and beauty lost.
More often than not these days I find myself stronger, more confident, and more accomplished when I step into the role of “bad object.” It is not that I am not good at these times. It is that I willingly take responsibility for non-conforming, breaking a patterned interaction, and inciting a shift in perspective to achieve a familiar level of resonance in an unfamiliar way.
There is a role for each of us as good objects and bad objects. The contrast reminds us of our undeniable ability to contain emotional depth and resonant beauty in the most surprising ways.
Don’t be afraid of being weak.
Where we find our weakness,
we also uncover our potential for strength.
Shifting
Swirling
Overlapping
Never separate
Never fully one
Dark and light blending
No clear definition
Stormy or clearing
All sources of nourishment
Endless gifts
Purpose in all.
I don’t have to think like you.
I can leave a space for your thoughts in my mind without compromising my own.
I don’t have to love you.
I can hold a space for you in the sacred abode of love in my heart.
I don’t have to make choices in response to your choices.
I can make space for choices that clears away the clouds of fear, and doubt, and greed.
Being human affords me the opportunity to think, love, and choose.
Grace affords me the space to think, love, and choose freely, kindly, and honestly and leave room for you to do the same.
This morning, just as dawn broke in the sky, my eyes fluttered open.
Immediately my body tensed as I filled my head with to-do items, remaining self-criticism of all my failures and missed deadlines and opportunities of the day before, and doubts about whether I could make anything worthwhile out of today.
And just before I peeled back the covers and dashed off to start another arduous day, I wondered what was it like when I would just wake up happy?
There must have been a time in life when my first thoughts weren’t of the past or future but of noticing right now,
Where I simply noticed the cool of the morning air on my cheeks, the stillness of my body, the comfort of my bed.
A time when I felt whole, complete and not in a rush to hurry on or recoil into hiding.
I felt my way back into my body with a kind reacquaintance as if welcoming back an old and dear friend.
I noticed little sounds and followed them rhythmically in my mind sometimes as they travelled to me and sometimes back to their source.
I made no plan for what was next.
And on the voice that travels through the cells of my body softly said
This is love,
This is joy,
This is who I am.
I waited and waited there until that one memory resurfaced of that time when I awoke like this…or at least it conjured the feeling I had awoken like this.
I felt into that fully…waking up as enough, waking up with my heart open, waking up in love with myself and knowing that anything is possible when I wake up happy.
Someone reminded me this week that I am a grown up. As such, I have the capacity to care for myself, even survive on my own, and I have the luxury of absolute choice.
Sure, I know I am a grown up and can make choices but I still have the fear of a child. I fear making choices that will be wrong, cause suffering, or result in bad consequences.
As I further consider my power of choice, I am just now realizing that perhaps there are no right or wrong consequences. There really is no good versus bad. I do not need to avoid a choice because the outcome is not crystal clear or safe enough to follow through on.
I can chose to do or not do anything. Yes it comes with consequences but it also cultivates freedom.
Each consequence is simply another opportunity for choice, an opportunity to play more confidently and creatively with my power to choose.
Karma, choice in action, is not the punishment that results from my choices but the next actions available to me as a result of my choosing.
I do not need to avoid choices or fear consequences any more. I am a grown up. I just need to be ready to make the next choice.
Harmony begins with
befriending myself.
Relying on me
to validate who I am.
Ready to stand today,
not alone,
but in my own-ness.
Seeking not to change
who you are
or have you define me.
Rather, changing my
perspective and
choosing with great care
relationships
that inspire
only
my own
vivacious,
joyful,
powerful,
truest
Self.
To cross the stream, I search for stones that seem fixed despite the moving waters.
These stones suggest a level of safety in my crossing as they seen unmoved by the current,
stronger than I could be on my own.
Is the stream really too deep and forceful that I need the stones or
can I make the crossing?
I question my capacity to carry myself,
despite the quiet flash of reassurance in my belly suggesting I could navigate the waters just fine on my own.
I turn instead to the stones’ promise to hold me.
Without hesitation, I step wildly, quickly, with hope that they will be what they appear to be.
I put my trust completely in the stones
Only to find them unbalanced, slippery, unable to hold me, and
Depositing me completely and fully into the water.
My trust in the stones vanishes into the darkness.
I fight the current…the message…trust no one.
Suddenly the flash returns…trust…trust yourself.
It doesn’t have to be steady, clear, easy, or look a certain way.
I dive into the self-reliance that holds me, guides me, connects me with the edge of safety.
There in that moment I find trust on the inside that inspires more reliable trust on the outside.
Monday Mindfulness 