I am not broken.
Although, perhaps to some I may appear that way.
When I sit in stillness, in the quiet of my own heart, it is clear that I may be chipped.
I may be cracked.
Parts of me may be loose or wobbly,
but there is such a profound beauty
in all of the scars and markings of this worn and tired being,
that I can only imagine
if I were completely broken
I would be even more beautiful.
Saying yes to “hard.”
With kindness
and gentleness.
With hope
and tenacity.
With assertiveness
and assuredness.
Calm.
Confident.
Clear.
Recognizing the “hard”
as the nudge
towards
easing up
and
letting go.
One day this single path abruptly split in two.
The potential in both directions was intriguing and alluring,
albeit a bit daunting.
The split itself brought much spaciousness and beauty,
a chance to pause and survey the widespread landscape of the past and present,
confirming there could be no wrong steps forward,
the divide simply an invitation to reawaken to this journey
and joyfully take the next step.
Finding the balance between expressing and encroaching,
between stepping back and leaning in.
There are moments to blend
and times to expand.
Expressing one’s colors
requires softness and boldness,
the ability to complement and hold up another and still stand fully on your own.
Today, will it be accent or statement?
There are places to be both.
Fortitude is born of persistence and patience….
The steadfastness to stay the course,
and acceptance as it all unfolds,
no matter how messy it gets.
Let it all flow…
Hot and messy
like a volcano.
Root down and rise up,
Stop your feet,
Get low to the ground.
Burst with great force,
triumphantly,
unapologetically,
into the sky
Release the big
and scary
and frustrating.
Shake like a wet dog when you feel stuck or over burdened.
Curl inward and rest until you remember your power.
You are magnificent.
You
are
magnificent.
When I peel away the stories,
When I release the plans I made,
When I drop into this very moment,
I see and feel so clearly
The peace,
The grace,
The love,
And the joy
At the core of my being.
I know this as the truth.
This mountain could not have been built of anything less.
This mountain I now climb provides the vantage point from which I launch into my unboundedness.
The air turns cool.
Sound becomes distorted.
Sight goes offline.
Simultaneous smallness and vastness set in.
Swaddled simplicity meets rattled uncertainty.
The compass loses its point of focus,
directionality irrelevant.
Bending and moving through unfamiliar spaces,
offering lessons in courage,
the darkness is only temporary.
The current flows through me like a lightening bolt.
Jaggedly it rips at my center.
The burning wake of hollowness almost crumbles me to the ground.
As the charge hits the earth,
it dissipates,
diffuses,
extinguished in a flash.
Breath and smoldering flesh hang on.
Roots cling to the soil,
unhinged by the destruction.
The sky still dark,
the air now still,
droplets descend from the clouds as a small peace offering and attempt to soothe.
Shhhh….
calls out the rain.
You will prevail.
Forever changed, yes.
Wearing the beautiful mark
of challenge overcome,
and your willingness to be a conduit
for the powerful energy of
change.
Frenetically charging ahead.
Pushing to make something happen.
Squandering the gift time has given of ponderance.
Moving and changing is exhilarating.
The powerful rush of adrenaline
on the grand loops and dips of the roller coaster.
Is that sustainable?
Movement for the sake of movement can release and even bring progress.
Advancing into action
can relieve pain and fear.
It can also bring injury and dis-ease.
There is great potential for harm with repetitive movement absent proper supports and conditioning.
Every decision is filled with regret or acceptance.
Every decision is likely being made in response to fear.
It may be the greatest fear we have is remaining where we are.
Every decision can be empowering.
It may not require striving,
movement
or big changes
to demonstrate prowess,
intellect,
and power.
It may be adventurous.
It may untangle the bonds of current conditions.
Or, it may be escapism,
grandiosity,
avoidance.
It may be a means of hiding
or running away
from the lessons available right where we are.
Just being,
in the stillness,
in the simplicity,
in the temporarily perceived lack
and stagnation
could be just what is needed
to truly free the heart,
open the mind,
and honestly and gratefully embrace one’s spirit.
To boldly go where no one has gone before
may be an invitation
to stay right where we are.
Monday Mindfulness 