The shadow of the leaf.
A lingering impression it makes as the sun touches the earth,
predictable, recognizable, seemingly unchanging.
And then the moon eclipses the sun.
The angle of light shifts as it shines on the earth.
Shadows arc and transform just as freely as the leaf dances in the wind,
fully capable of showing up differently.
Thinking…thinking….thinking….
No room for the heart to heal.
The cast iron vault concealing deep and splintering wounds too fragile to expose.
Can the world handle the explosion?
Is it ready for the imprisoned love and joy to be released?
Will critical thoughts, past hurts, and fear prevent the unleashing?
Oh, to find creativity again…
For creativity to find me.
Touching once more vitality,
vibrancy,
and free expression.
All that is left to do is to
Feel…feel…feel…
This newness thrills and enlivens me,
as the old ways woo me with protection and predictability.
It’s exhausting,
at times,
this dance!
Leaving it all behind too quickly there is no room to pause,
to catch my breath,
to reset.
Slowing too much
makes it difficult to find a rhythm in the steps.
and so I spin
and twirl
and feel my breath and body
slightly losing control,
occasionally stepping out of sequence,
joyfully embracing the imperfection,
and that’s when I know
I’m doing it right.
The air turns cool.
Sound becomes distorted.
Sight goes offline.
Simultaneous smallness and vastness set in.
Swaddled simplicity meets rattled uncertainty.
The compass loses its point of focus,
directionality irrelevant.
Bending and moving through unfamiliar spaces,
offering lessons in courage,
the darkness is only temporary.
Frenetically charging ahead.
Pushing to make something happen.
Squandering the gift time has given of ponderance.
Moving and changing is exhilarating.
The powerful rush of adrenaline
on the grand loops and dips of the roller coaster.
Is that sustainable?
Movement for the sake of movement can release and even bring progress.
Advancing into action
can relieve pain and fear.
It can also bring injury and dis-ease.
There is great potential for harm with repetitive movement absent proper supports and conditioning.
Every decision is filled with regret or acceptance.
Every decision is likely being made in response to fear.
It may be the greatest fear we have is remaining where we are.
Every decision can be empowering.
It may not require striving,
movement
or big changes
to demonstrate prowess,
intellect,
and power.
It may be adventurous.
It may untangle the bonds of current conditions.
Or, it may be escapism,
grandiosity,
avoidance.
It may be a means of hiding
or running away
from the lessons available right where we are.
Just being,
in the stillness,
in the simplicity,
in the temporarily perceived lack
and stagnation
could be just what is needed
to truly free the heart,
open the mind,
and honestly and gratefully embrace one’s spirit.
To boldly go where no one has gone before
may be an invitation
to stay right where we are.
Gnarled or free flowing.
Grasping or outstretched.
From its center point,
form expands in two directions,
mirrored in the spread of itself confidently into the earth
and it’s expansion courageously into the air.
Nourishment flowing.
Survival impossible without the reflections
of grounding,
of stretching,
of growth,
of change.
One feeding the other,
feeding the other.
Separate in apparent function.
Symbiotic existence as one.
The abundance of the universe surrounds me,
an endless supply of successes and challenges.
I always have the choice which way I turn.
Signs and signals.
Distractions and dilutions.
Stop looking to the outside for answers.
Trust the intuitive process of discernment and distinguishing.
There are no bad choices,
merely different ways to play in the field.
I can stay here or I can move towards something else.
Forcing narrows the focus,
and breeds striving,
limiting potential,
and resulting in tension and confusion.
Grace and patience fuel clarity
as trust flows into and from decisions to open opportunities,
not always challenge-free but solution-oriented.
Seeking the solutions
that inspire hope,
kindle kindness,
and support the expression of deepest passion
and purpose.
This is dharma.
This is the path of choice.
Fresh water mixes with salt.
The gateway brackish,
murky,
churning.
Swimming against the angry currents of
struggle,
despair,
and loss.
Riding the tides with
flexibility
and fortitude,
trust
and patience.
Constantly changing conditions stir hope and determination.
Survival requires adaptability.
Leaving the familiar marshes of the small, quiet stream
to swim in the wide open playground of the ocean.
This choice
a devotion.
This river of tears
leads to an ocean of joy.
When I let go of trying to make things happen,
when I stop holding onto the belief that I need to make all the decisions and have all the answers,
I no longer feel an urgency to advance,
to be someone or something in particular.
When I let the work do itself,
methodically and gently applying curiosity and trust,
asking what’s next
without immediately seeking an answer,
allowing options to arise,
instead of predetermining the way,
believing in myself versus holding onto worn out beliefs,
success flows more quickly, smoothly, and freely.
When I take the pressure off myself and those around me to fit into my limiting perspective and beliefs,
I step more fully into my true potential…and they into theirs.
When I stop making myself small through my thoughts and feelings,
when I stop looking to you for answers,
it is clear that I don’t need the answers at all,
merely to hold onto the knowledge that I am doing the work
just by being here.
At the heart of all is love.
At the heart of me is love.
It’s ok to be skeptical.
No need to be clear or believe it,
And it’s still true.
Everything is working for me.
I need not soften into the knowing.
I can breathe and stand in this,
or I can struggle and resist,
and it will still happen – I am being.
I occupy this space, knowing that no one occupies this space like me.
Big or small,
tall or coiled,
heavy or light,
bold or shy,
free or bound.
The heart of me remains unchanged.
The heart of you remains unchanged.
The heart of all remains of love.
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Monday Mindfulness 