Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Calm & Resilience


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Bare Roots

The rest of the trees in the woods seem to stand so confident, so steady.

The storms have not hindered their ability to carry on.

And there I lay right next to them…toppled to the ground,

Root exposed.

So vulnerable and feeling like such a failure.

No longer am I the source of shade, fresh air, and refuge for the birds.

How could I be so weak?

How could I let so many down?

As I lay across the forest floor I feel the earth not just at my base but nestling in all along my spine, roots to branches.

I feel the soft mud, leaves of seasons past, and creatures that inhabit the ground delighting in my arrival.

New spaces to be cradled, to play in, and explore.

I am no longer giving nourishment through my leaves and breath but I am feeding the forest now with my whole being.

I am no longer drawing from the source of nourishment at my roots but I am the source itself.

With roots exposed, like bearing the deepest corners of my heart, I have nothing to protect and everything to give.

Fallen and seemingly over my prime, I am just now realizing that my purpose was not to stand tall but to fall into an even more grand state of being.


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Self-Care Plan

Ease in movement

Confidence in heart

Peace in spirit

Clarity in thought

Patience in receiving

Kindness in expression

Assurance in being

Joy in doing

Stillness in action

Flourishing intuition

Thriving in grace

Abundant in gratitude

Living in love


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Fearless Living

Once there was an old belief that said,

“I am afraid…afraid of hurting others because I feel their hurt as if my own…hurting others jeopardizes my relationships and in that I run the risk of feeling their anger or worse, their scorn and disappointment. It is better to deny my joy than risk upsetting theirs.”

For a long, long time that belief walked confidently along its path unhindered. One day, it stumbled on that well worn path upon a rock of joy. It tripped over pebbles of power, and fell upon a bolder of truthfulness. As the belief lost its balance, it fell into a net of beautiful jewels all connected by a golden thread of love, of creativity, kindness, and great joy.

The belief grasped at the edges of the path, grappled with the sensation of free falling, longing for the predictable order of its existence. In the blinding beauty of the sparkling jewels, the belief had no choice but to release its fear, to drop into the wide and open net, to be held by a greater force in the space of free will and joy.

Gradually, the belief allowed itself to let go of the path and discovered its power to attract truthfulness and joy. It found that in that vibration there was no room for fear, hurt, or loneliness…only love.


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Clarity fleeting

So, I sit here day after day wallowing in my mistakes, misfortunes, pain, and suffering.

I hold onto them in my body like appendages…the tension in my muscles, the crookedness of my bones, the heaviness of my head…and heart.

I carry them as reminders of my faults and flaws.

And yet, when I sit in stillness, when I fill and empty with awareness on my breath, I find only peace…ease…joy.

Remembering…

…the gentle touch of others, through their hands, hearts, and smiles.

…the power of my cognition to work the puzzle pieces of every day life.

… the essence of my kindness and great capacity for love.

…the gifts of receivership and gratitude that present so abundantly and frequently.

I’ve been conditioned to hold onto and dwell on the lack and sorrows as if they belong permanently.

Love, joy, and freedom are somehow deemed as temporary.

Today I give myself permission to release it all – to breathe in and out with equanimity in every moment, to imbibe and cleanse, receive and release, storing none as defining me and simply allowing it all to live through me without reliving or retaining any of it as me.

Clearing the channels of experience so that all flows, informs, and re-minds me that I am everything and defined by nothing.


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Resentment

I didn’t listen to myself.

I didn’t present myself clearly.

My primary goal to avoid conflict,

I jeopardized my safety to ensure my survival.

And just like that I feel devalued.

My experience is in direct contrast with my values.

I chose inner conflict rather than anger.

Oh, I get angry, but I turn it all on me,

Suppressing outward expression out of fear,

For the sake of compliance.

Meeting the needs of others supplants

My capacity to meet my own needs.

Sacrificing my internal sense of security for connection

Causes an internal disconnection between my own heart and mind.

My body bristles at the assault and becomes a harbor for my anger

Disappointment surfaces as dis-ease and lingers

In my consciousness and beyond.

Suddenly, the sweet voice within that I so defiantly ignored

Grabs my full attention as it says,

“You did your best…

And they did too.”

“You are capable of keeping yourself safe now.

Be strong, consistent, and clear.

Make choices that preserve your freedom and safety.

Love yourself above all else

And you will never have to sacrifice your values for security.”

A new state of being immerges

Free of disappointment

Free of feeling wronged, hurt, and weak.

Free of resentment.

Free to be grateful.

Free to forgive.

Free of burdens

and unconditionally loved.


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Reflections

How often I stand in this being of me, just not sure what I see.

Insecurity on the inside

Appears as rejection on the outside.

Longing for love and positive connections

Show up as judgment and disappointment from others.

Feelings of shame and inadequacy

Manifest as attacks of anger and disgust.

The stories build not on what is really surrounding me but in the distorted view I have of the reflections.

My experiences and relationships are like a hall of mirrors.

The distortion produces more distortion until the internal and external judgment and criticism becomes too great to bear.

And then, I let go of the differences, weaknesses, faults.

I soften the gaze.

I let the edges of everything blur.

And then I see it is all just me.

I become curious not about what I see in the endless reflections in the mirrors, but in the source of the projection.


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Manifesting

Like begets like.

Peace leads to peace.

Kindness breeds kindness.

Suffering can lead to ease.

Mistakes become opportunities for growth.

Loss makes room for freedom.

Fear dissolves in faith.

Whatever I cultivate as my experience, I have the ultimate power to accept or shift the paradigm. Every experience serves me even when on the surface it may look grim. When I align an experience with the goal of knowing love, the love that is there always – not between people but that creates people – everything comes into balance, harmony prevails.

I no longer need to label my experiences as good or bad when I know that all experiences unfold before me so that I can explore what it is like to be my best self.

This is the process of trust.


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Bad and Beautiful

The Ackland Museum at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill just hosted an exhibit entitled “Good Object/Bad Object,” inviting visitors to examine works of art that defy customary decorum and could be called “bad” because they are unpredictably designed yet they achieve an emotional depth and resonant beauty equal to “good” art.

Bad objects are opportunities to explore the edge of our comfort zone and try on new ways of seeing the world.

When the role is taken on responsibly, a bad object can be the catalyst of change and inspire different thinking.

Isn’t it interesting how quickly we humans need to label things as good or bad when often those characteristics are circumstantial. Nature doesn’t operate that way.

In humans, often when a bad object occurs without sufficient planning and understanding, the artist might become defensive or even resentful, denying accountability for their creation. If they have not been provided the encouragement and freedom to create outside of traditional constructs, the artist might try to hide the bad object, its potential emotional depth and beauty lost.

More often than not these days I find myself stronger, more confident, and more accomplished when I step into the role of “bad object.” It is not that I am not good at these times. It is that I willingly take responsibility for non-conforming, breaking a patterned interaction, and inciting a shift in perspective to achieve a familiar level of resonance in an unfamiliar way.

There is a role for each of us as good objects and bad objects. The contrast reminds us of our undeniable ability to contain emotional depth and resonant beauty in the most surprising ways.


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Bedazzled

My body is a temple, golden and glowing.

My heart is a treasure chest bedazzled and sacred.

My mind is a granite stone vault protecting all that is known.

Ease, kindness, and clarity are the keys that unlock each one,

The breath the foundation on which all are secure.

It is my job to keep them all sacred and shimmering, accessible and strong.

Awake and aware, I guide myself with each breath through the healing and care needed to nurture and polish every surface, every corner,

So that every bit of me shines

Confidently,

Joyfully,

Magnificently,

And every bit of me knows it.