Flickering hopes.
Embers of struggle.
Burning desire
for connection,
belonging.
Peace sits
beside anguish
in the stillness.
Being
in the not being.
Embracing the shadow
and the light.
Sitting Still
Tag Archives: pain
Both
Feeling goodness.
Recognizing capacity for love and joy…
and pain and sorrow…
and confusion and disappointment…
Offering laughter and playfulness…
tears and aching.
Ever grateful.
Still longing.
Inviting.
Learning to receive.
Faith,
not hope,
guides discovery.
Recurring smiles
share space with unsettled emptiness,
offering glimpses of spaciousness.
Trust becomes the compass point,
as surrender calls.
Not giving up,
but diving in.
Relinquishing the tight reins of control
to allow the fullness of life to unfold on its own.
Turning towards the depths of the oceans of stability within,
to exist within it all.
Grateful for this artwork generously created and shared by Matt Buncik.
Catching dreams
Looking into the web of life,
relationships and experiences overlapping.
Sorting.
Parting.
Finding
gaps and angles
through which to feel,
through which to see,
through which to move.
The veil of consciousness pulls back,
revealing that this filter isn’t to keep the negative, dark or painful elements out,
but to feel the self as
forever capable of
great joy,
ease,
and love,
regardless of all else.
Catching the truth.
Removing doubt
that this life
is here for any other
reason than to notice
and remember
what is
beautiful.
Multiple Truths
My capacity is larger than my hurt.
The tear rolls down my cheek,
just a fraction of the bigger me.
Full and brimming and yet still quite small.
I feel both at the same time,
my tear
and my breath,
my breath
and my heart,
my heart
and my strength.
I can hold grief and gratitude.
Love and disappointment.
Compassion and boundaries.
Sadness and peace.
At the root of it all
I can no more be in or out of love
than I can be in or out of my body,
or my breath.
Love is not something temporary,
to be chased,
or clung to.
Love is the essence of freedom,
self expression, and connection.
Love is a state of being
that allows all else to exist.
And
Where does it end,
the light from the sun
the light of the moon,
the dark of the shadows
the vastness of the sky,
cold of winter,
unfurling of spring?
Where is the line
that separates joy
from sorrow,
excitement
from fear?
What fills the space between earth and sky?
Is it my heart?
My body?
My breath?
In my mind I struggle
to find a separation,
an either or,
a division,
a moment,
where one exists without the other.
I cannot
and therefore
I cannot regret.
I cannot long.
I cannot judge,
right or wrong.
I cannot reject sorrow
or long for joy.
I cannot suffer in darkness or immerse myself fully in light.
I am made of it all.
It is all in me.
Or is none of it?
I am the space that fills
the space between.
I am the end of light,
the beginning of dark.
I am all of the joy and filled with sorrow.
I am the convergence of earth and sky.
I am the meeting place for it all.
I am the “and.”
Cradled in Grief
Johann Hari once said, “We grieve because we have loved. We grieve because the person we have lost mattered to us.”
Grief is not a linear process.
It is an ebb and flow of emotions
and choices that we navigate,
between holding on and letting go.
Like this water,
tears move,
ever changing in shape and patterns.
The flowers that bloom and subsequently fade away
help us find our way back
to a place in our hearts,
to remember
the beauty,
the joy,
and the love,
to soften for just a moment
the pain,
the aloneness,
the fear of having to live beyond this very moment.
Set it all down,
come into this moment.
Let it hold you.
Let it nurture you,
stroking your cheek,
embracing you with softness and sweetness.
For the next few moments,
let everything else go.
You are loved,
and held,
more than you will ever know.
Conviction
If our morals and beliefs suggest that we should all
love,
support,
and guide one another,
then wouldn’t true,
authentic
moral conviction
show up in the form of
grace
and forgiveness,
not shackles?
A calling back of the misguided to the embrace of
patience and gentleness,
not humiliation
and chastisement.
The invitation
to not be isolated,
but to come closer.
To take accountability.
To grieve in communion
for the loss
of others wounded by their actions
and
for their own internal suffering.
To wail in the arms of
a community
that shoulders mistakes,
missteps,
and misdeeds,
with understanding and humility,
no matter how egregious
on the surface.
To shed tears together to cleanse,
not punish,
embrace,
not discard,
teach,
not convict.
Chosen
Dark and heavy clouds fill the sky.
There is a moist, chilling feel in the air.
Worry, doubt, and greed swirl on the wind.
At the center of it all,
like an eye opening timidly from a long slumber,
a small space opens.
Unleashed absent effort,
unconditional,
unassuming,
extending unrestrainably outward,
an ancient healing balm,
a penetrating and permiating force,
stirs and
rises up.
It moves and shifts,
overcoming,
discerning,
dissolving,
and shifting.
Without seeking,
or striving,
it appears,
almost effervescently,
greeting all of the
anguish,
pain,
and
suffering
with gentle kindness,
patience,
humility,
and peace.
Love moves from within,
chosen
to be
seen,
felt,
and heard.
.
Healing Salve
I hold your broken heart,
recognizing the worn and chipped pieces
of injury, loss, humiliation, and dejection
and the pains of long ago never repaired or attended to,
grown over with patchwork scars and gaping cracks and holes.
I am sorry for picking at and reopening those wounds.
I am sorry for creating new fissures and further weakening your heart’s integrity and your ability to feel whole.
I only ever meant to hold your heart gently and sweetly,
but at times my fear of losing it made me grip so hard
and cling so forcefully
that I only added to its brokenness.
I never lost sight of its beauty and worth.
I never lost touch with its essence.
But as I began to doubt the essence of my own heart, I chipped away at yours.
I only hope now to heal my heart
and send ripples of unconditional love across the void of brokenness,
applying a healing salve and restoring integrity.
With the deepest love of my heart, I render this prayer for forgiveness.
