They say it’s the rainy season,
But this sweet hibiscus might disagree.
Roots reach out for a hint of moisture
Only to find dry fissures.
Under the heat of the
Is it possible to need less?
To hold out for the rain?
Leaves start to yellow and fall to the ground.
It may be unrecoverable.
The sky grays,
The wind picks up
Tugging on every branch.
Pounding rain bounces off the parched ground
Smacking the undersides of the few remaining leaves.
The clouds break.
The ground is soft.
The leaves are green.
Out pops a blossom.
No ties to suffering.
No lingering struggle.
Just strong, vibrant.
Funny how you work so hard for something to be over and then when you are done there is a sense of sadness or loss.
Don’t get me wrong, there is still plenty of room for joy in letting go but the habit that developed is going to take some time to get over.
Maybe grief isn’t so much about doing without as much as it’s about breaking a habit and finding comfort in a new routine.
It’s not that I don’t suffer.
It’s just that I don’t choose for suffering to be my way of being.
Grief…it’s not about the loss as much as creating and being able to access a little warm place in your heart where you hold that connection forever.
I used to think that grief was the act of severing ties and throwing away something special because it was lost.
But now I know that grief is a process of storing the memories of the specialness of every experience regardless of its labels, conditions, and how it came to be or not be.
Grief is experiencing the loss without getting lost.
When you are suffering, my smile does not mean I don’t care. It may be that I am just opening my heart more in a time when yours may feel closed off.
I am holding a space of warmth and hope in which you can feel sad but not alone.
Allow my smile to soften your pain and be not a blinding light but a guiding light.
Feeling and noticing love and joy in others does not negate the loss. It just reminds us of our capacity to heal and honor loss without getting lost in it ourselves.