Disappointment implies that joys and successes rely on others.
Anger signals the breaching of important boundaries.
Fear rises from insecurity and a false sense of incompleteness or inability.
These are not bad or broken parts surfacing to limit and constrict.
These are powerful markers built into me that arise over and over again not to point out my weakness, lack, or flaws but to strengthen my knowing and clarity.
My power lies in being not formed by them but informed by them.
“I am afraid…afraid of hurting others because I feel their hurt as if my own…hurting others jeopardizes my relationships and in that I run the risk of feeling their anger or worse, their scorn and disappointment. It is better to deny my joy than risk upsetting theirs.”
For a long, long time that belief walked confidently along its path unhindered. One day, it stumbled on that well worn path upon a rock of joy. It tripped over pebbles of power, and fell upon a bolder of truthfulness. As the belief lost its balance, it fell into a net of beautiful jewels all connected by a golden thread of love, of creativity, kindness, and great joy.
The belief grasped at the edges of the path, grappled with the sensation of free falling, longing for the predictable order of its existence. In the blinding beauty of the sparkling jewels, the belief had no choice but to release its fear, to drop into the wide and open net, to be held by a greater force in the space of free will and joy.
Gradually, the belief allowed itself to let go of the path and discovered its power to attract truthfulness and joy. It found that in that vibration there was no room for fear, hurt, or loneliness…only love.
So, I sit here day after day wallowing in my mistakes, misfortunes, pain, and suffering.
I hold onto them in my body like appendages…the tension in my muscles, the crookedness of my bones, the heaviness of my head…and heart.
I carry them as reminders of my faults and flaws.
And yet, when I sit in stillness, when I fill and empty with awareness on my breath, I find only peace…ease…joy.
Remembering…
…the gentle touch of others, through their hands, hearts, and smiles.
…the power of my cognition to work the puzzle pieces of every day life.
… the essence of my kindness and great capacity for love.
…the gifts of receivership and gratitude that present so abundantly and frequently.
I’ve been conditioned to hold onto and dwell on the lack and sorrows as if they belong permanently.
Love, joy, and freedom are somehow deemed as temporary.
Today I give myself permission to release it all – to breathe in and out with equanimity in every moment, to imbibe and cleanse, receive and release, storing none as defining me and simply allowing it all to live through me without reliving or retaining any of it as me.
Clearing the channels of experience so that all flows, informs, and re-minds me that I am everything and defined by nothing.
We are wired for connection…to thrive these connections must be established, mended, and maintained.
To Establish requires the courage to welcome something new and possibly quite uncomfortable.
To Mend calls upon our capacity to heal hurts and embrace the pains of growing.
To Maintain is the essence of flexibility and fortitude.
We watch and encourage the healing of the wounded body – its powerful transformation and rebirth, over and over again, ever celebrating its capacity to establish, mend, and maintain.
If only the heart and mind were afforded such a generous space of repair and connection.
According to the principles of quantum physics, everything is made of particles. It is only when I apply my awareness that the particles become matter in my environment. My mind and heart work together to define how my environment becomes my experience.
While my existence is mind and heart over matter, so often I perceive it as the other way around.
What I perceive is what becomes. The canvas is blank, the potential limitless. Free from rationalization and explanation, inner knowing is my medium. I become the creator.
Monday Mindfulness 