I am not broken.
Although, perhaps to some I may appear that way.
When I sit in stillness, in the quiet of my own heart, it is clear that I may be chipped.
I may be cracked.
Parts of me may be loose or wobbly,
but there is such a profound beauty
in all of the scars and markings of this worn and tired being,
that I can only imagine
if I were completely broken
I would be even more beautiful.
Take time to rest.
Time to feel.
And time to heal.
In this moment there is nothing more important than
the next breath.
Feel me sitting right there next to you,
in the center of your softly beating heart,
exchanging a wink and a smile, surrounded by light,
knowing that we have loved
and are loved so dearly.
My friend, we are not unicorns,
But dragons!
Full of fire.
Welling with generosity.
Sensitive to every tide
and shift of the barometer.
Fueled by passion.
Righteous in ancient tradition.
Bleeding tenderness and hope.
So sorely misunderstood
and under valued.
Especially when we love most deeply,
reveal our sensitive nature,
and suppress our power.
We submit to others
so that they can feel strong.
We are so powerful that we can suppress our very own needs,
to the point of falling ill and weak,
until inside us awakens the dragon heart
and we become so much love,
so much joy,
that the entire world lights up from our magnificence
and all doubt and judgment fades,
revealing our scales,
our scars,
and our wounds.
Stepping
proudly,
unapologetically,
fully
into our power.
The field is bloodied.
Swords scattered and strewn.
In the distance, flowers bloom and a river runs cool and deep.
Who are the victors and what have they gained?
What have the defeated truly lost?
Conflict is inevitable but the results are a choice.
To be a victor without gloating.
To be defeated without wallowing.
To receive and face all that comes without fear.
Each day I have the potential to find strength,
balance,
and humility,
regardless of which end of the sword I face.
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I hold your broken heart,
recognizing the worn and chipped pieces
of injury, loss, humiliation, and dejection
and the pains of long ago never repaired or attended to,
grown over with patchwork scars and gaping cracks and holes.
I am sorry for picking at and reopening those wounds.
I am sorry for creating new fissures and further weakening your heart’s integrity and your ability to feel whole.
I only ever meant to hold your heart gently and sweetly,
but at times my fear of losing it made me grip so hard
and cling so forcefully
that I only added to its brokenness.
I never lost sight of its beauty and worth.
I never lost touch with its essence.
But as I began to doubt the essence of my own heart, I chipped away at yours.
I only hope now to heal my heart
and send ripples of unconditional love across the void of brokenness,
applying a healing salve and restoring integrity.
With the deepest love of my heart, I render this prayer for forgiveness.
I know not how
to befriend you.
There are no words or actions that I have learned
to guide me in this seemingly simple endeavor.
Yet I sense
it is crucial to my survival.
I long to connect
and belong.
It is not for a lack of love
or desire
that I appear
so unwilling or unable
to conduct myself as
a friend.
I simply do not know how.
I do know my capacity to love and the kind space that exists
within me
so ready to receive and serve you.
All I can do right now is
breathe in,
expanding and opening myself
just a little more,
building trust in my inner knowing
that I am part of the unseen bond that exists between us all,
and that your care and patience will help me find my way.
With each exhale, I extend myself
slowly and courageously
Into the edges and folds of you
in hopes that my melding
feels as gentle
and loving
as I intend it to be.
You are safe and loved.
I support you.
I will protect you.
It’s okay to feel sad, scared, or anxious.
It’s okay to say no.
I love you the way you are.
You are kind, smart, and funny.
You are important.
I am happy you are here.
Monday Mindfulness 