Thinking…thinking….thinking….
No room for the heart to heal.
The cast iron vault concealing deep and splintering wounds too fragile to expose.
Can the world handle the explosion?
Is it ready for the imprisoned love and joy to be released?
Will critical thoughts, past hurts, and fear prevent the unleashing?
Oh, to find creativity again…
For creativity to find me.
Touching once more vitality,
vibrancy,
and free expression.
All that is left to do is to
Feel…feel…feel…
At the heart of all is love.
At the heart of me is love.
It’s ok to be skeptical.
No need to be clear or believe it,
And it’s still true.
Everything is working for me.
I need not soften into the knowing.
I can breathe and stand in this,
or I can struggle and resist,
and it will still happen – I am being.
I occupy this space, knowing that no one occupies this space like me.
Big or small,
tall or coiled,
heavy or light,
bold or shy,
free or bound.
The heart of me remains unchanged.
The heart of you remains unchanged.
The heart of all remains of love.
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The wind determines what I hear.
My eyes inform what I see.
The body interprets what I sense.
Thoughts form from what I hear, see, and feel as an experience.
Beliefs cling to these thoughts and this experience as truth,
setting emotions into action and reaction.
In reality, if there is such a thing, it is all just a choice, interpretation best when it comes not from my beliefs but in what I choose to believe.
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This moment offers goodness,
a natural and positive power to know ease.
Selecting and sorting in order to fully digest and release the lessons of yesterday,
Turning tomorrow’s worries and challenges into nourishment,
Releasing the need for familiar patterns of action and behavior,
Staying curious, playful, and willing to feel good, happy, and harmonious,
no longer resisting,
no longer malnourished and waiting to be fed,
greeting each obstacle, each decision, each encounter as a tasty morsel fueling growth and expansion.
Engaging a soft “huhn” or “hmmm” as all is processed without categorization or interpretation,
all a source of nourishment.
An unconscious smile cannot help but form as the gas moves through the abdomen, bringing curious sensations,
prodding the goodness to surface.
With the sometimes temporary pain and discomfort of digestion
comes clearing, sorting, dissipation, and integration,
as the work of being is done by the experiences themselves,
turning each encounter into a delicious and complete meal.
Hope twinkles like tiny stars.
Courage forms in the constellations of small hopes coming together.
Darkness besets as guidance,
a backdrop for creation,
clarity, and definition.
Once the constellation appears,
even when darkness fades,
even when engulfed in light,
the stars are connected,
the constellation remains,
for once seen it can never be forgotten.
There is not one giant awakening.
There is no detachment from pain.
There is not one moment of clarity that instantly falls upon the eyes or mind. There is not one instant one experiences freedom.
It happens bit by bit.
Awakening in the darkness,
in the suffering,
in the discomfort,
and in the dis-ease.
We begin to know it, like a dear and cherished friend.
There is a gradual unclogging, unfogging, and unraveling – that is the mystery of change.
That is the beauty of opening oneself to the potentiality of growing into something different.
Bit by bit, moment by moment, like pieces of a puzzle, thoughts and feeling, sensation and experiences, twist and turn and gradually find their way to fit together.
In that coming together, there is a sense of harmony and ease, perhaps even joy, that surfaces on the horizon,
not in overcoming the obstacles,
not in seeing the finished product,
but in feeling the creative process and drinking it all in.
Imagine an artist hand-working a tapestry with such precision that it rippled with perfection, had no evidence of flaws in material or craftsmanship, and contained absolutely no mistakes.
Would the artist call it perfect? Would they feel any less insecure in the results of their work? Would they recognize their accomplishment? Could they see their work as flawless? Is there such a thing? Would they want to be? And how would this perfect tapestry be received any differently than any others?
The brave artist announces mistakes not in shame, with excuses, or expecting judgment, but with joy in knowing that imperfections are not signs of our flaws and weaknesses but demonstrations of our beauty – and our capacity for compassion and forgiveness. Imperfections provide opportunities for us to create, again and again, not for the sake of achieving perfection but as play with absolutely no desired outcome other than the act of creating itself.
We need not be embarrassed, fearful, or ashamed in our mistakes. We and others benefit every time we craft with complete vulnerability and humility. Each mistake is important as it leaves space for love to come through.
Today I choose
curiosity,
clarity,
and confidence
to guide me,
releasing control,
as my purpose presents itself most fully
when I play freely
with my challenges,
not anticipating
or crafting
precisely what will pop up,
but knowing
it will be beautiful,
if I just let it be.
Within this great time of change, unsettledness, and loss, comes an urge for clarity, knowing, and security.
It becomes more and more elusive with grander and grander efforts to find a connection, a grounding, a holding on place.
Clawing furiously at the earth, desperate for a sense of being held, folding so close to its surface, the breath and body become lost, unable to find the satisfaction of security.
Perhaps the rooting down into connection is not what is needed.
Rather, the courage to rise up to it,
To release the bonds and tethers that built an illusion of having a home.
To become the ether,
The soft chord that aligns with the core of our being,
That has no home because it is our home,
That needs no latching on as its connection is found in the releasing, trusting, and cutting of cords.
The ether holds timeless wisdom in quietude,
A space where the walls of understanding, reason, and storytelling are replaced with wide expanses of clarity, simplicity, ease, and knowing.
Ethereal connections need no validation or roots but remind us of unity in the unknown.
It is time not to hunker down into the ordinary, the familiar, and the history, but to embark on a journey of discovery, exploration, and love within,
A greater belonging,
A time to take flight.
There in the ether exists
An absence of need,
A discovery of true essence,
And the freedom to truly be home.
For just a moment,
I breathe.
Stories begin to evaporate.
Expectations
Fear
Doubt
Dissipate
Ceasing to exist without the stories.
Spreading my fingers, I release the hold,
Unbridle the mind
Widen the heart
Let it all go.
Clearing spaces
I grow lighter
Longer
Looser
Expanding
Into lightness
I deepen my capacity
I feel into my power.
My power is
Joyful
Assured
Easy
Bright
Clear
Not taking on a particular form, shifting fluidly between states and forms as they serve me.
Diving into limitless potentiality
Alive with creativity
I can be
or do
anything
Or nothing.
Feeling into my greatness
There lies freedom to choose.
Growing
Into my capacity.
I am powerful
Whatever shape I choose.
Monday Mindfulness 