Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Calm & Resilience

Tag Archives: suffering


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Conviction

If our morals and beliefs suggest that we should all

love,

support,

and guide one another,

then wouldn’t true,

authentic

moral conviction

show up in the form of

grace

and forgiveness,

not shackles?

A calling back of the misguided to the embrace of

patience and gentleness,

not humiliation

and chastisement.

The invitation

to not be isolated,

but to come closer.

To take accountability.

To grieve in communion

for the loss

of others wounded by their actions

and

for their own internal suffering.

To wail in the arms of

a community

that shoulders mistakes,

missteps,

and misdeeds,

with understanding and humility,

no matter how egregious

on the surface.

To shed tears together to cleanse,

not punish,

embrace,

not discard,

teach,

not convict.


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Chosen

Dark and heavy clouds fill the sky.

There is a moist, chilling feel in the air.

Worry, doubt, and greed swirl on the wind.

At the center of it all,

like an eye opening timidly from a long slumber,

a small space opens.

Unleashed absent effort,

unconditional,

unassuming,

extending unrestrainably outward,

an ancient healing balm,

a penetrating and permiating force,

stirs and

rises up.

It moves and shifts,

overcoming,

discerning,

dissolving,

and shifting.

Without seeking,

or striving,

it appears,

almost effervescently,

greeting all of the

anguish,

pain,

and

suffering

with gentle kindness,

patience,

humility,

and peace.

Love moves from within,

chosen

to be

seen,

felt,

and heard.

.


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Standing At The Gate

Loss and grief are proof that you have loved.

Love is the gateway to joy,

joy to peace.

You have loved and

known the essence of being loved.

Let the suffering move through you.

Rip yourself open with this grief.

Purify yourself with tears.

Beat your fists on the ground.

Pound your aching heart.

Take and give every punch with gratitude.

Shatter the barrier to feeling it all.

In the shallows of this darkness that accompany the pain,

Let every pain pour out.

Drop for a moment into the stillness,

this vast emptiness your refuge.

And, just as suddenly as the suffering began, a small space,

cleansed by your tears,

and broken open through your courage,

will begin to fill with sweetness, softness, kindness.

A slow, gradual unfolding will take place

as joy reveals itself

shyly,

purely,

authentically,

and more richly

than ever before,

because you have loved

and are willing to love and be loved again.


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Healing Salve

I hold your broken heart,

recognizing the worn and chipped pieces

of injury, loss, humiliation, and dejection

and the pains of long ago never repaired or attended to,

grown over with patchwork scars and gaping cracks and holes.

I am sorry for picking at and reopening those wounds.

I am sorry for creating new fissures and further weakening your heart’s integrity and your ability to feel whole.

I only ever meant to hold your heart gently and sweetly,

but at times my fear of losing it made me grip so hard

and cling so forcefully

that I only added to its brokenness.

I never lost sight of its beauty and worth.

I never lost touch with its essence.

But as I began to doubt the essence of my own heart, I chipped away at yours.

I only hope now to heal my heart

and send ripples of unconditional love across the void of brokenness,

applying a healing salve and restoring integrity.

With the deepest love of my heart, I render this prayer for forgiveness.


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Dear tears…

Dear Tears,

The pain is so intense, at times, taking the breath away.

Your arrival is a sign of hope,

and a forceful reminder to surrender.

You cleanse and clear the way for a new perspective.

Diving in so deeply and fully, consuming the moment,

you somehow soften the pain and bring breath back into the body.

This dance of flowing, heaving, melting, twisting and turning kneads the suffering into softness.

Every droplet contains an ocean of loving tenderness.

So beautifully pulling back the curtain,

allowing the light in,

transcending time,

washing out all bridges of reality,

exposing the space between,

bringing us home for healing.


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Rising from the Rubble

I had no idea that as I tore down the wall to rescue my abandoned self that I would nearly smother in the rubble.

Even when loss is experienced in a way that relieves abuse, abandonment and betrayal, the disruption it causes and the pain of breaking through the barriers to healing oneself are great.

And those who helped to build the wall, who reveled in the obstructing and ostracizing of that true self, walk away unphased by the devastation left behind. They go on to build thicker walls around themselves and others.

While their departure ensures the wall they left behind is not reinforced, it hurts that they do nothing to help remove the heavy stones, broken shards, and pieces of what they worked so relentlessly to build.

That burden rests on the shoulders of the self behind the wall. One by one the stones are slid aside. The dust settles. The light starts to shine through the piles and pieces as the opening grows wider and wider.

The power in seeing that self emerge, pale and weak at first – labored breathing, heavy and slow moving, still patiently and methodically forging ahead and finding its way – is so sweet to witness…even in its efforting.

That self digging out from the rubble need not feel animosity, anger, or resentment. No, that self is not needing to be rescued.

That self is triumphing in the freedom of self-acknowledgment, self-care, and self-worth.

Much of the power in healing comes from the self not needing to be rescued. The power is in putting aside the rubble and freeing oneself.


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No Ties

They say it’s the rainy season,

But this sweet hibiscus might disagree.

Roots reach out for a hint of moisture

Only to find dry fissures.

Body wilting,

Edges curling

Under the heat of the

Unrelenting sun.

Is it possible to need less?

To hold out for the rain?

Leaves start to yellow and fall to the ground.

It may be unrecoverable.

The sky grays,

The wind picks up

Tugging on every branch.

Pounding rain bounces off the parched ground

Smacking the undersides of the few remaining leaves.

The clouds break.

The ground is soft.

The leaves are green.

Out pops a blossom.

No ties to suffering.

No lingering struggle.

Just strong, vibrant.

Resilient.


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Loss not lost

Funny how you work so hard for something to be over and then when you are done there is a sense of sadness or loss.

Don’t get me wrong, there is still plenty of room for joy in letting go but the habit that developed is going to take some time to get over.

Maybe grief isn’t so much about doing without as much as it’s about breaking a habit and finding comfort in a new routine.


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Loss, Not Lost

Grief…it’s not about the loss as much as creating and being able to access a little warm place in your heart where you hold that connection forever.

I used to think that grief was the act of severing ties and throwing away something special because it was lost.

But now I know that grief is a process of storing the memories of the specialness of every experience regardless of its labels, conditions, and how it came to be or not be.

Grief is experiencing the loss without getting lost.