
When you bump up against something unfamiliar or uncomfortable,
it’s just a reminder of what you love.
Photo courtesy of Shari Irby.

When you bump up against something unfamiliar or uncomfortable,
it’s just a reminder of what you love.
Photo courtesy of Shari Irby.

It doesn’t matter how much power you have if you don’t allow it to burst out and serve you.
So many times I have used my power to suppress my own needs, my voice, my self-advocacy…all for the sake of “preserving the peace.” But, how can peace be preserved when a battle rages within me to suppress my own feelings and needs simply to avoid the risk of imploring you to revel in my power to know myself. Ah, yes, there is a chance that you will be wounded in the wake of my power, but that wound I can hold with much greater compassion than the devastation that comes from turning my power against myself.
My power transforms from exploding within to bright and shining rays of love and truth when authentically attuned. I begin to recognize that honesty is a demonstration of true prowess and the recognition of woundedness an opportunity to be powerful in kindness, forgiveness, and grace.
My power magnifies when I allow it to burst out and serve me, so much so that it can hold all of the discomfort, all of the woundedness, all of the needs and feelings — yours and mine – and in that outburst peace is preserved.

It’s a great gift we receive in every energetic exchange that we experience – the opportunity to…
absorb
utilize
diffuse
relegate
release
or give away
our power.
Feeling into your power or letting it go needs no special circumstances or conditions. It’s simply a choice.
Every time a choice…
Will I feel into my power
Or will I let it go?
Every time a choice.

How often I stand in this being of me, just not sure what I see.
Insecurity on the inside
Appears as rejection on the outside.
Longing for love and positive connections
Show up as judgment and disappointment from others.
Feelings of shame and inadequacy
Manifest as attacks of anger and disgust.
The stories build not on what is really surrounding me but in the distorted view I have of the reflections.
My experiences and relationships are like a hall of mirrors.
The distortion produces more distortion until the internal and external judgment and criticism becomes too great to bear.
And then, I let go of the differences, weaknesses, faults.
I soften the gaze.
I let the edges of everything blur.
And then I see it is all just me.
I become curious not about what I see in the endless reflections in the mirrors, but in the source of the projection.

Hope you stay open today to all the world out there has to offer you.
There are no wrong choices…even if you choose to be the object of pain or discomfort for yourself or someone else. There is a lesson in it all… a forward momentum.
Sense when to watch and when to leap. Don’t be afraid to feel – all of it. Know that it is all there for you to experiment with and none of it bigger than you…because it is there as a part of you.
Seek adventure curiously and joyfully…in your heart, in your mind, and in every action or inaction. Take on all that is out there in whatever way will grow and inspire you best.
Lift the blinds. Open the window.
Breathe it all in.
Now go live in it.

I am experimenting more and more with loving myself these days…not being safe or shoring up relationships to develop a sense of connection but authentic appreciation for who and where I am. I am showing up in the knowing that I have my intuition (that I will call Self) as a guide and while connection with community is an important element of the human experience, connection with my Self is just as crucial.
As I am learning to love myself, I am maneuvering through the awkward balance between selfish and selfless to find the sustainable space between…where ego informs, intuition guides, and I hold onto no preconceptions of what that will look and feel like as I determine what best serves.
The chain that secured the familiar is rattling. Full of insecurities, yours and mine, it informs as I release its grip on my heart, rusty links untangling for all of us to see that freedom is possible.
As I am rattling the chain around my heart I ask that you consider letting your chain rattle too to make room for a new way of showing up for you and for me.
Either way, I will be free but it might be more fun to conspire in the unchaining together.

The Ackland Museum at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill just hosted an exhibit entitled “Good Object/Bad Object,” inviting visitors to examine works of art that defy customary decorum and could be called “bad” because they are unpredictably designed yet they achieve an emotional depth and resonant beauty equal to “good” art.
Bad objects are opportunities to explore the edge of our comfort zone and try on new ways of seeing the world.
When the role is taken on responsibly, a bad object can be the catalyst of change and inspire different thinking.
Isn’t it interesting how quickly we humans need to label things as good or bad when often those characteristics are circumstantial. Nature doesn’t operate that way.
In humans, often when a bad object occurs without sufficient planning and understanding, the artist might become defensive or even resentful, denying accountability for their creation. If they have not been provided the encouragement and freedom to create outside of traditional constructs, the artist might try to hide the bad object, its potential emotional depth and beauty lost.
More often than not these days I find myself stronger, more confident, and more accomplished when I step into the role of “bad object.” It is not that I am not good at these times. It is that I willingly take responsibility for non-conforming, breaking a patterned interaction, and inciting a shift in perspective to achieve a familiar level of resonance in an unfamiliar way.
There is a role for each of us as good objects and bad objects. The contrast reminds us of our undeniable ability to contain emotional depth and resonant beauty in the most surprising ways.

I don’t have to think like you.
I can leave a space for your thoughts in my mind without compromising my own.
I don’t have to love you.
I can hold a space for you in the sacred abode of love in my heart.
I don’t have to make choices in response to your choices.
I can make space for choices that clears away the clouds of fear, and doubt, and greed.
Being human affords me the opportunity to think, love, and choose.
Grace affords me the space to think, love, and choose freely, kindly, and honestly and leave room for you to do the same.

I may not always be able to see clearly,
But I can always feel clearly
When I accept that where I am is where I am.

I am made of grace
Flowing and free
A mystery force
Unseen yet felt
Barreling through corridors
Softly pressing against your body
Making my way.
Often unnoticed
Unappreciated
Lonely at times
Ignored unless I rage
Stoking flames
Tipping trees
Whipping myself around wildly
Roaring in your ears.
Do you notice my work
Clearing old leaves from the trees,
Making wild flowers dance,
Brightening your cheeks?
Or are you only frustrated
As I muss your hair,
Push against you,
Rip through your windows?
Invite me in,
Swirl with me,
Experience my grace as your own.
Help me avoid the need to burst into flames
Or wither to nothing just to be noticed,
To feel connected to you.
Honor not just my ferociousness
But the power in my grace.