Trust your senses to guide you, my intuition said.
The air currents are too complex and the terrain too rough for you to navigate said my mind…
Are you sure you can find your way?
It’s too risky said my body to go out on your own and ride the sky.
It takes confidence and a release of all fear.
Against the advice of familiar patterns, out-purposed behaviors, and nagging beliefs, I spread my wings.
I launch and take flight unsure of where I will go, unsure of what nourishment I may or may not find, what challenges I may or may not face, and what gifts I may or may not discover.
As my feet lift off the ground, euphoria fills me knowing that my destiny is in the flight itself, not what it brings or where it goes but in the unbridled courage and curiosity that soar with me, reminding me who I really am.
I had no idea that as I tore down the wall to rescue my abandoned self that I would nearly smother in the rubble.
Even when loss is experienced in a way that relieves abuse, abandonment and betrayal, the disruption it causes and the pain of breaking through the barriers to healing oneself are great.
And those who helped to build the wall, who reveled in the obstructing and ostracizing of that true self, walk away unphased by the devastation left behind. They go on to build thicker walls around themselves and others.
While their departure ensures the wall they left behind is not reinforced, it hurts that they do nothing to help remove the heavy stones, broken shards, and pieces of what they worked so relentlessly to build.
That burden rests on the shoulders of the self behind the wall. One by one the stones are slid aside. The dust settles. The light starts to shine through the piles and pieces as the opening grows wider and wider.
The power in seeing that self emerge, pale and weak at first – labored breathing, heavy and slow moving, still patiently and methodically forging ahead and finding its way – is so sweet to witness…even in its efforting.
That self digging out from the rubble need not feel animosity, anger, or resentment. No, that self is not needing to be rescued.
That self is triumphing in the freedom of self-acknowledgment, self-care, and self-worth.
Much of the power in healing comes from the self not needing to be rescued. The power is in putting aside the rubble and freeing oneself.
Don’t wait for them to see the richness and uniqueness – see it yourself…
Unwind your tangled perception of you…
Enjoy the where you are and the where you will be, each full of challenges and delights…
Please love yourself just a little more…you are harder on yourself than anyone else ever could be…
Do all things because they feel good and nurture you not because they are “right” or provide a shield from the deep dark thoughts and feelings that face you…
Fearlessly take the hands of hurt and pain and walk with them for a bit, let them guide you out of the darkness until together you find the space to release each other…
Take your time in the process of caring for you above all else…slow down and tend to each and every element of you as if massaging a baby tenderly with the balm of divine love…
Feel grateful for the ease and healing in every breathe…
Move your body with the joy and freedom it was designed for…
You, my friend, are made of love and all those with truest loving eyes will see that and that is all that matters…
Turn your truest loving eyes towards your own heart and hold it sweetly, love it dearly, and this will be enough.
Monday Mindfulness 