Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Calm & Resilience


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Reflections

How often I stand in this being of me, just not sure what I see.

Insecurity on the inside

Appears as rejection on the outside.

Longing for love and positive connections

Show up as judgment and disappointment from others.

Feelings of shame and inadequacy

Manifest as attacks of anger and disgust.

The stories build not on what is really surrounding me but in the distorted view I have of the reflections.

My experiences and relationships are like a hall of mirrors.

The distortion produces more distortion until the internal and external judgment and criticism becomes too great to bear.

And then, I let go of the differences, weaknesses, faults.

I soften the gaze.

I let the edges of everything blur.

And then I see it is all just me.

I become curious not about what I see in the endless reflections in the mirrors, but in the source of the projection.


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Cultivating the smile within

In each moment

there exists a small space

of contentment.

It is our work

to come back to this space,

again,

and

again,

and

again

and

again

until with every moment

our first feeling

is one of contentment.


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Bad and Beautiful

The Ackland Museum at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill just hosted an exhibit entitled “Good Object/Bad Object,” inviting visitors to examine works of art that defy customary decorum and could be called “bad” because they are unpredictably designed yet they achieve an emotional depth and resonant beauty equal to “good” art.

Bad objects are opportunities to explore the edge of our comfort zone and try on new ways of seeing the world.

When the role is taken on responsibly, a bad object can be the catalyst of change and inspire different thinking.

Isn’t it interesting how quickly we humans need to label things as good or bad when often those characteristics are circumstantial. Nature doesn’t operate that way.

In humans, often when a bad object occurs without sufficient planning and understanding, the artist might become defensive or even resentful, denying accountability for their creation. If they have not been provided the encouragement and freedom to create outside of traditional constructs, the artist might try to hide the bad object, its potential emotional depth and beauty lost.

More often than not these days I find myself stronger, more confident, and more accomplished when I step into the role of “bad object.” It is not that I am not good at these times. It is that I willingly take responsibility for non-conforming, breaking a patterned interaction, and inciting a shift in perspective to achieve a familiar level of resonance in an unfamiliar way.

There is a role for each of us as good objects and bad objects. The contrast reminds us of our undeniable ability to contain emotional depth and resonant beauty in the most surprising ways.


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Ever Changing Skies

Shifting

Swirling

Overlapping

Never separate

Never fully one

Dark and light blending

No clear definition

Stormy or clearing

All sources of nourishment

Endless gifts

Purpose in all.


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Reclaiming Ground

Cracks in the foundation.

Gotta dig deeper.

Move more dirt.

Secure the footings.

Rising fear like flooding waters.

Climbing higher

Full of frailty

Mounting doubt

Insecurity

in the instability

existence threatened

Could it all crumble?

Maybe it should.

Digging deep.


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Think…love…choose

I don’t have to think like you.

I can leave a space for your thoughts in my mind without compromising my own.

I don’t have to love you.

I can hold a space for you in the sacred abode of love in my heart.

I don’t have to make choices in response to your choices.

I can make space for choices that clears away the clouds of fear, and doubt, and greed.

Being human affords me the opportunity to think, love, and choose.

Grace affords me the space to think, love, and choose freely, kindly, and honestly and leave room for you to do the same.


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Let Me Be Clear

So many times I have wished for a window into the future, into the consequences of my choices.

Seeking certainty in my decisions, weighing my intuition against the feedback in my environment, just to be sure I am getting the best deal, walking the right path, doing the proper thing.

All along I have sought clarity to fuel my certainty. I thought that clarity would provide assurance as if my choices could ever be right or wrong.

The day I chose acceptance over assurance is the day I began to realize there are no good and bad choices, no right or wrong.

When I seek assurance in my choices, I am doubting my capacity to be flexible, creative, and resilient.

When I seek to accept my choices I engage compassion for myself and confidence that I will be ok no matter what choice I make.


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The Way

Standing on the precipice, mountains before me and behind me, I contemplate briefly the ascent or decent into the unknown.

No worries that the fog hinders my view because I feel my feet. I know that each moment, step by attuned step, I will find the earth and the sure footing that only comes with internal clarity.

Like the goat that climbs the rocks and edges of the cliffs with certainty, I approach the present, with the same attention to which I have all too often focused on my future and my past.

Looking back and looking forward the fog distorts the view. The lack of clarity forces me to see here, only that which is right in front of me.

In this moment, I put my hooves to the ground. I see the steps I need to take right here and now. I do not need to see the mountains in the foreground to know my way.


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And…

The wind says run.

The sun says stay.

The cool at the edges of my body says retreat…or is it calling me towards it?

The warm in the center of my being spreads outward craving more – warm seeking warm.

The body clenches and contracts in the coolness,

Portions of me are soft from the inner warmth.

I crave the warm.

I find the cool invigorating and awakening.

This tug of warm and cool, of retreat and advance, of contract and expand, plays within and all around me.

Ping-ponging from one as if better than the other or as one instead of the other, appearing as lack or wanting.

Then there is that moment…I recognize I can be warm and cool at the same time.

Where the opposites exist simultaneously within and for me.

Feeling nurtured and grounded, safe and secure in the warmth, and at the same time empowered to expand outward into the bright, crisp air and what lies before me.

How magical it is to be in two experiences simultaneously – like night and day, not opposites or tag-teaming but always there, highlighting one another.

A reminder that my world is not linear or singular.

There is never just one view, one perspective, or one answer.

I can have both but I am not without either. It is just where I happen to focus my attention, where I choose to create the story, and what I chose to feel.

It is the play of duality.

It is the “and” of being human.


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It’s not bad, it’s just now

Someone reminded me this week that I am a grown up. As such, I have the capacity to care for myself, even survive on my own, and I have the luxury of absolute choice.

Sure, I know I am a grown up and can make choices but I still have the fear of a child. I fear making choices that will be wrong, cause suffering, or result in bad consequences.

As I further consider my power of choice, I am just now realizing that perhaps there are no right or wrong consequences. There really is no good versus bad. I do not need to avoid a choice because the outcome is not crystal clear or safe enough to follow through on.

I can chose to do or not do anything. Yes it comes with consequences but it also cultivates freedom.

Each consequence is simply another opportunity for choice, an opportunity to play more confidently and creatively with my power to choose.

Karma, choice in action, is not the punishment that results from my choices but the next actions available to me as a result of my choosing.

I do not need to avoid choices or fear consequences any more. I am a grown up. I just need to be ready to make the next choice.