Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Calm & Resilience


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Reflections

How often I stand in this being of me, just not sure what I see.

Insecurity on the inside

Appears as rejection on the outside.

Longing for love and positive connections

Show up as judgment and disappointment from others.

Feelings of shame and inadequacy

Manifest as attacks of anger and disgust.

The stories build not on what is really surrounding me but in the distorted view I have of the reflections.

My experiences and relationships are like a hall of mirrors.

The distortion produces more distortion until the internal and external judgment and criticism becomes too great to bear.

And then, I let go of the differences, weaknesses, faults.

I soften the gaze.

I let the edges of everything blur.

And then I see it is all just me.

I become curious not about what I see in the endless reflections in the mirrors, but in the source of the projection.


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Reasons

I can choose to encounter my world through friction and tension…

Or synchronized and harmonious.

There is feedback and purpose in both.

Tuning to aversion or alignment as the compass points on my path,

I can either move towards what feels comfortable, favorable, and right

Or rub up against imbalance, back up, turn away and go around.

I can always choose resistance or resonance.


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Uncovering

Don’t be afraid of being weak.

Where we find our weakness,

we also uncover our potential for strength.


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Exposed

Sanding and scraping at the scars, dents and built up layers of protection releases not only the renewed beauty of the untouched core but reawakens all the senses as the scent, taste, and feel of the raw nature is revealed.

It is hard work to peel away the layers and return to that soft exposed space of vulnerability. It also comes with a lightness and freshness that invites expanded breath and awe at the ability to renew and return to untouched purity.

It is the purity and vulnerability that allow the true Self to be revealed, rekindled, and invited to be seen, smelled, tasted, and heard.

I sand, scrape, and rub at the layers of my existence to expose the grain of my soul, renewed with freshness, clarity, and beauty in my raw, natural state.

While I may still need a soft coat of protection for survival, this time it will be applied lovingly and gently by me, and leave room for my natural imperfections to shine through.


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Let Me Be Clear

So many times I have wished for a window into the future, into the consequences of my choices.

Seeking certainty in my decisions, weighing my intuition against the feedback in my environment, just to be sure I am getting the best deal, walking the right path, doing the proper thing.

All along I have sought clarity to fuel my certainty. I thought that clarity would provide assurance as if my choices could ever be right or wrong.

The day I chose acceptance over assurance is the day I began to realize there are no good and bad choices, no right or wrong.

When I seek assurance in my choices, I am doubting my capacity to be flexible, creative, and resilient.

When I seek to accept my choices I engage compassion for myself and confidence that I will be ok no matter what choice I make.


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The Way

Standing on the precipice, mountains before me and behind me, I contemplate briefly the ascent or decent into the unknown.

No worries that the fog hinders my view because I feel my feet. I know that each moment, step by attuned step, I will find the earth and the sure footing that only comes with internal clarity.

Like the goat that climbs the rocks and edges of the cliffs with certainty, I approach the present, with the same attention to which I have all too often focused on my future and my past.

Looking back and looking forward the fog distorts the view. The lack of clarity forces me to see here, only that which is right in front of me.

In this moment, I put my hooves to the ground. I see the steps I need to take right here and now. I do not need to see the mountains in the foreground to know my way.


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An antidote for loss

When you are suffering, my smile does not mean I don’t care. It may be that I am just opening my heart more in a time when yours may feel closed off.

I am holding a space of warmth and hope in which you can feel sad but not alone.

Allow my smile to soften your pain and be not a blinding light but a guiding light.

Feeling and noticing love and joy in others does not negate the loss. It just reminds us of our capacity to heal and honor loss without getting lost in it ourselves.


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Caught up

Why is it that I am so regularly seduced by over work at the sacrifice of self care and compassion?

Caught in the net of a never ending to-do list that lures me away from rest and towards the mirage of success.

In the end, it is not the amount of work I get done but my capacity to enjoy the work I do and that is only possible with sufficient compassion and care.


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Fragile

Fragile

Mired in the fog of fatigue, loss, and self-doubt,

I am more fragile these days,

More prone to tears,

aware of tightness,

weakness,

imbalance.

Heavy and slower moving,

hyper-vigilant,

frenetic,

almost desperate to break free.

Oh, to relieve the longing,

the striving,

the insecurities.

To return to my true nature.

I am more fragile these days,

but not broken.

Tucked away for now,

but I will surely bloom again.