Not coy,
confident.
Not tethered,
anchored.
Not drifting,
opening.
Rooted in the earth.
Expanding the mind,
not with thought derived from past experiences but with ideas inspired by the unknown.
Capable.
Clear.
Strong.
Assured not in the direction in which I will head but in the magnificence of who and where I am right now.
For when the stillness and quiet fade,
I will continue to embody grace and power.
I will not forget that I am
omnipotent.
I follow my breath to the small, tender space of my heart.
This is where I find security and assurance.
This is where in the quiet and stillness I hear the sweet voice of my Self.
I feel the very center point of my existence.
From this center, I am clear as to what I am and what I am not.
From this center, I am kind, courageous, creative, curious,
and, oh, so, very smart and strong.
From this center, there is enough of me to hold both of us joyfully in our play as humans.
From this center, bright light radiates out and all around me full of unconditional love that doesn’t just give and fix and please.
No, this bright, magnificent light protects, defines, and honors my deepest self which in return brings forward my best self for all of us.
Centered in my Self I know more clearly who I am, and who I am not, washing away fear and doubt, posturing and grasping, and external pressures to conform or contract.
Centered in my Self I experience peace and confidence, ease and joy, harmony and health.
I long to be Self centered.
The rest of the trees in the woods seem to stand so confident, so steady.
The storms have not hindered their ability to carry on.
And there I lay right next to them…toppled to the ground,
Root exposed.
So vulnerable and feeling like such a failure.
No longer am I the source of shade, fresh air, and refuge for the birds.
How could I be so weak?
How could I let so many down?
As I lay across the forest floor I feel the earth not just at my base but nestling in all along my spine, roots to branches.
I feel the soft mud, leaves of seasons past, and creatures that inhabit the ground delighting in my arrival.
New spaces to be cradled, to play in, and explore.
I am no longer giving nourishment through my leaves and breath but I am feeding the forest now with my whole being.
I am no longer drawing from the source of nourishment at my roots but I am the source itself.
With roots exposed, like bearing the deepest corners of my heart, I have nothing to protect and everything to give.
Fallen and seemingly over my prime, I am just now realizing that my purpose was not to stand tall but to fall into an even more grand state of being.
Step softly, so that the heart of the earth feels the massage of your gentle touch and yet you leave no visible marks on her outer edges.
Speak confidently with love so that your words are heard clearly without hurting.
Experience wide open spaces without taking up residency or ownership.
Follow the rising sun as the rippling wake of warmth washing over the landscape.
Offer cool crevices like the moon without swallowing up the light.
Be your most wild, magnificent, vibrant self, touching the world lightly and leaving an indelible mark.
How can something weeping be so beautiful?
Branches sinking towards the ground,
heavy with the promise of spring.
Blossoms like tears,
dripping from overflowing eyes.
Swaying soulfully in the wind, the blossoms sing a song not of loss but of rebirth.
These branches remind us to remain soft,
to bend and hang low,
to let life flow.
See the beauty and freshness that comes with letting go.
With the same courage that the tree has in these uncertain temperatures and conditions to bravely unfurl its blossoms,
weeping thoroughly,
signs of growth,
remind us of the beauty in letting our tears flow
for behind them comes a richness of life and growth
the likes of which have never been seen or felt before.
Open your wings, my heart said.
Trust your senses to guide you, my intuition said.
The air currents are too complex and the terrain too rough for you to navigate said my mind…
Are you sure you can find your way?
It’s too risky said my body to go out on your own and ride the sky.
It takes confidence and a release of all fear.
Against the advice of familiar patterns, out-purposed behaviors, and nagging beliefs, I spread my wings.
I launch and take flight unsure of where I will go, unsure of what nourishment I may or may not find, what challenges I may or may not face, and what gifts I may or may not discover.
As my feet lift off the ground, euphoria fills me knowing that my destiny is in the flight itself, not what it brings or where it goes but in the unbridled courage and curiosity that soar with me, reminding me who I really am.
I had no idea that as I tore down the wall to rescue my abandoned self that I would nearly smother in the rubble.
Even when loss is experienced in a way that relieves abuse, abandonment and betrayal, the disruption it causes and the pain of breaking through the barriers to healing oneself are great.
And those who helped to build the wall, who reveled in the obstructing and ostracizing of that true self, walk away unphased by the devastation left behind. They go on to build thicker walls around themselves and others.
While their departure ensures the wall they left behind is not reinforced, it hurts that they do nothing to help remove the heavy stones, broken shards, and pieces of what they worked so relentlessly to build.
That burden rests on the shoulders of the self behind the wall. One by one the stones are slid aside. The dust settles. The light starts to shine through the piles and pieces as the opening grows wider and wider.
The power in seeing that self emerge, pale and weak at first – labored breathing, heavy and slow moving, still patiently and methodically forging ahead and finding its way – is so sweet to witness…even in its efforting.
That self digging out from the rubble need not feel animosity, anger, or resentment. No, that self is not needing to be rescued.
That self is triumphing in the freedom of self-acknowledgment, self-care, and self-worth.
Much of the power in healing comes from the self not needing to be rescued. The power is in putting aside the rubble and freeing oneself.
Today I want to be a tree,
providing steadiness and sturdiness in the world,
receiving assuredness and ease,
knowing precisely where I stand.
Anchored in the strength of the earth.
Expanding gently, respectfully and gratefully into the air and space of others.
I want to be a source of clearing of thoughts,
feelings,
worries,
suffering,
not absorbing it as my own,
simply removing the impurities and toxins.
I want to breathe in and receive
the light
the water
the nourishment of family and friends
the success of work
the richness of creation.
to feel my beautiful roots and my capacity to grow endlessly upward and outward.
I embrace the simultaneously simple and complex nature of me
Inviting gratitude and joy as my guides
Growing ever stronger and steadier in who I am
and how I show up in the world.
For just a moment,
I breathe.
Stories begin to evaporate.
Expectations
Fear
Doubt
Dissipate
Ceasing to exist without the stories.
Spreading my fingers, I release the hold,
Unbridle the mind
Widen the heart
Let it all go.
Clearing spaces
I grow lighter
Longer
Looser
Expanding
Into lightness
I deepen my capacity
I feel into my power.
My power is
Joyful
Assured
Easy
Bright
Clear
Not taking on a particular form, shifting fluidly between states and forms as they serve me.
Diving into limitless potentiality
Alive with creativity
I can be
or do
anything
Or nothing.
Feeling into my greatness
There lies freedom to choose.
Growing
Into my capacity.
I am powerful
Whatever shape I choose.
I am not cold.
I am feeling.
I am not sad.
I am informing.
I am not striving.
I am opening.
I am not ignorant.
I am growing.
I am not disappointing.
I am redefining.
I am not disconnecting.
I am transforming.
In this discomfort
I find my greatest knowing
And the courage
to share it with you.
Monday Mindfulness 