Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Calm & Resilience


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Swimming

I came into this world knowing only me.

Somewhere along the way,

As I grew to know there were others,

I let them define who I came to be.

I thought I should follow.

And as a child, like a duckling, I did.

For that was my only sure source of food, shelter, survival.

But along the way, I noticed

I could forage, swim, and tuck my beak into my own wings

in a way unique to me.

It didn’t mean the others were wrong…

I just didn’t seem to be an exact fit to how they did these things.

I wrestled with knowing that I could make it on my own.

I convinced myself that I still needed to follow and be how and what they dictated.

And then one day, I gave it a small try.

I wandered a little farther away.

I showed up last to the waters edge.

I sat a bit longer in the sun than the rest.

There I found ease and a new sense of knowing.

The aloneness still haunts me from time to time as I am now no longer part of that brood.

And yes swimming on my own takes a new kind of effort.

But I’ve noticed

The others haven’t gone away.

Just their influence over my choices has.

Now we search for food near each other but don’t have to fight for the same piece.

We gather closer together when we need warmth and give space as needed.

We swim in the same waters but no longer in each other’s wake.

It’s a new way of existing,

This coming back to knowing me,

And it seems to be just the way it is supposed to be.


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perfect holes

Imagine an artist hand-working a tapestry with such precision that it rippled with perfection, had no evidence of flaws in material or craftsmanship, and contained absolutely no mistakes.

Would the artist call it perfect? Would they feel any less insecure in the results of their work? Would they recognize their accomplishment? Could they see their work as flawless? Is there such a thing? Would they want to be? And how would this perfect tapestry be received any differently than any others?

The brave artist announces mistakes not in shame, with excuses, or expecting judgment, but with joy in knowing that imperfections are not signs of our flaws and weaknesses but demonstrations of our beauty – and our capacity for compassion and forgiveness. Imperfections provide opportunities for us to create, again and again, not for the sake of achieving perfection but as play with absolutely no desired outcome other than the act of creating itself.

We need not be embarrassed, fearful, or ashamed in our mistakes. We and others benefit every time we craft with complete vulnerability and humility. Each mistake is important as it leaves space for love to come through.


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Purpose popping

Today I choose

curiosity,

clarity,

and confidence

to guide me,

releasing control,

as my purpose presents itself most fully

when I play freely

with my challenges,

not anticipating

or crafting

precisely what will pop up,

but knowing

it will be beautiful,

if I just let it be.


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This heart’s message

You are safe and loved.

I support you.

I will protect you.

It’s okay to feel sad, scared, or anxious.

It’s okay to say no.

I love you the way you are.

You are kind, smart, and funny.

You are important.

I am happy you are here.


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Sparkling Entanglement

An enthusiastic and naïve seagull swoops down on a tiny fish sparkling near the surface of the softly rippling waves.

It eagerly dives in and grasps the silvery treasure.

A simple maneuver performed hundreds of times in the past turns immediately to struggle as a hook and clear line at the end of a poll entangle the unsuspecting.

Soon the sky fills as the silent call for help produces a furry of circling, screeching, and diving.

All are now hovering, pensively and purposefully.

A shirt comes off to cover the bird as nimble hands work to untangle the lines.

The air is filled with insecurity and uncertainty.

A cloud of judgment forms.

It is the bird’s fault.

It is the fisherman’s fault.

They are saving the bird.

They are hurting the bird.

All is a swirl in the energetic exchange of emotions and actions.

Soon there is a release, a cutting free, a letting go.

And none are left untarnished.

There is not an immediate sense of relief as one might expect.

Heads hang heavy, perhaps even filled with shame and remorse.

The drenched shirt, the cut line, the disheveled demeanor of all reminds us that even when the urgent rescue and the struggle dissolve,

There is a residual current of pain that must be allowed to dissipate and transform.

Even in the shortest-lived trauma, there must be a space following for grief, loss, and healing.

No participant in this event is untouched.

Only those who feel fully, surrender to the flood of intense sensations, and tend the wounds of the entanglement will be fully free.

A period of rest and repair is needed for all.

Shaking,

pruning,

pacing,

sounding,

slowing down,

and reconnecting

to the earth,

the water,

and the air,

each participant is offered a blanket of grace, compassion, and love to wrap around them in order for the judgment, fear, shame, and pain to subside.

In due time, as they forgive one another, they once more wander the edge of the sea, seeking nourishment, seeing differently, and feeling a part of something greater,

a net of seemingly invisible lines meant to connect and secure us, and sometimes harrowingly entangling,

always informing and forming

who we are,

where we go,

and how we get there.


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Broken, and…

I came into this world far from perfect.

I came into this world, carrying a satchel of burdens, broken pieces, and suffering.

I came into this world to learn that whatever imperfections,

whatever brokenness,

whatever missing parts,

I am no less complete.

I am no less whole.

I am no less beautiful.

I am no less worthy.

I am no less valuable.

In fact, I am more striking,

more exceptional,

more capable,

more intriguing,

and more powerful,

as I embrace the contrast.

Unpacking the contents of the satchel,

I bravely weave together all the pieces with a thread of light and love that enjoys a lack of symmetry,

dances in the gaps,

Expands to fill the holes,

and revels in the spaces.

It is in the imperfections, the scars of journeys past, and the history that we carry,

That we remember the inner layers and the threads of who we truly are.


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Unconditional

I am love and have the love and support of something greater within me.

I don’t need to settle on attachments that artificially promote my worth.

I was born worthy of placement in a world where I can be truthful, feel universal love, and never have to prove my value.

I am the embodiment of love and peace and joy.

I need not seek confirmation of that from anyone but me.

I can stand on my own.

I turn to my own heart for safety and reassurance.

I choose self-love over attachment.

I choose to love who I am more than anyone else ever should or can.

The deepest, truest love is the love I have for myself.

I remember. I choose.

No longer led by the illusion that I must earn love from others.

I turn to the unconditional love that I already am.


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Eyes open, heart full

There is such magic in this world.

In the way my body carries me.

The movement of the wind as it caresses my cheek.

The coolness of the tears that release my tension and heaviness and fall as readily with joy as sorrow.

In the songs of the birds and insects busy with their work.

The smile of a loved one.

The deep knowing in the eyes of a child.

The way the earth holds onto me.

The playful dance of the ocean under the moon.

The squish of sand…mud…and grass between my toes.

The twinkle of the sun peeking through the forest leaves.

The wiggle and prance of unconditional love in a dog’s greeting.

The soul connection of a cat’s purr.

The goodness in the food I eat.

The nourishment and brain power in a sip of water.

The laughter of my children.

The echoes of love that I feel as unborn babies prepare to create more magic in this world.

The gifts are endless, seamless, and there for me even when I forget, become distracted, or look away.

The magic remains and returns again and again.

All I have to do is be still and it appears so clearly before and within me.

It’s really not magic at all.

What a beautiful thing to let love guide me and choose to see the good in the world today.


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The fruits of loss

For so long I have worked to convert false and illusory love into something genuine and real.

I took every secret, every lie, and tried to make good of it, convert it with my own love, and hold it in my heart as if somehow sacred.

It cut me off from believing I was worthy or capable of experiencing authentic love…so much so that I lost the connection to my own self love.

My heart never forgot. It diligently safeguarded that little piece of me while it held all the other illusions and hopes.

The portion of my heart that held onto dreams of apologies and repair finally grew so heavy and full of empty promises that it ripped itself away. Painfully it twisted and tugged, like an overripe piece of fruit trying to resist gravity’s pull. It finally fell away. Oh the sorrow. Even letting go of something rancid and rotting is still a severing, a deep and real loss.

As that fruit of my broken heart smashed to the ground, its void still consuming my awareness, little seeds of potentiality embedded in the ground. I saw in them hopes that somehow we have all learned from these lessons of untrue love.

Somehow we will remember that without filling there can be no emptying. Without love there is no hope. Without unabashed openness and courage, the fruit cannot ripen and go on to somehow grow into something beautiful.

And in the meantime, the void from the fallen fruit begins to fill with new leaves.


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Self-Centered

I follow my breath to the small, tender space of my heart.

This is where I find security and assurance.

This is where in the quiet and stillness I hear the sweet voice of my Self.

I feel the very center point of my existence.

From this center, I am clear as to what I am and what I am not.

From this center, I am kind, courageous, creative, curious,

and, oh, so, very smart and strong.

From this center, there is enough of me to hold both of us joyfully in our play as humans.

From this center, bright light radiates out and all around me full of unconditional love that doesn’t just give and fix and please.

No, this bright, magnificent light protects, defines, and honors my deepest self which in return brings forward my best self for all of us.

Centered in my Self I know more clearly who I am, and who I am not, washing away fear and doubt, posturing and grasping, and external pressures to conform or contract.

Centered in my Self I experience peace and confidence, ease and joy, harmony and health.

I long to be Self centered.