Poor behavior is a sign of a loss of agency.
Lashing out at the circumstances around me instead of diving into the power within me.
There within I always have the capacity to choose, to “re-cognize” and bring back into my mental awareness my own tools of agency. I don’t need someone else to pick me up, to defend me, or clear the way for me.
I can feel confident, strong, and happy through my own decision making.
Whatever the story, with agency I can produce my own powerful, beautiful ending.
My mind says the work shows my value.
My emotions say the work provides purpose.
But my body say the work is tiring.
When out of balance, my body knows suffering, strain and illness.
It goes along with the plan for quite some time until systems become so taxed that it begins to breakdown, accelerating the natural limitlessness of this container.
And still I push on, the ego shouting louder about value and emotions crying for purpose.
Desperate for ease and repair the body collapses.
Foolishly, I believe that this is the only way.
Until I start to listen.
I hear my body’s call for balance now long before exhaustion.
I put down the baton and slow the doing.
I rest.
And I rest.
And I rest.
Sometimes it’s hard to turn off the voices of the doing, the voices of the wanting.
But it is in the space of rest where the tiny voice inside of me reminds me that greater value and purpose is born of nurturing.
Of nurturing this body, this mind, this heart.
Not just feeding, but honoring and loving, all of these aspects of me equally.
In this space, the desire to do and be something blends with the peace and stillness and then it becomes crystal clear that I need nothing more.
It is in the quiet space of rest where I am most powerful, most beautiful, and undeniably most complete.
The pain weighs so heavy on my body,
Pressing deep into my chest,
Down into my bones,
Constricting every drop of my being.
Yet, the breath still flows
Light and free.
There is courage, hope, relief
As I recall that the pain is just a part of me.
No matter how sad, or mad, or defeated I want to feel,
The pain can never be bigger than me
Because the pain is just a part of me.
A rhythmic flow of thoughts, sensations and movement ripple along the surface.
There is a stillness in that rhythm, a fluid sense of presence, direction, clarity and completeness.
There is no pressing onward, no need for more. In the stillness, I am the me that I am to be.
So why do I seek waves and torrents when the stillness is the essence of my being?
A cake baked rich and full calls us to dive in. Taste buds perk up, enzymes dance with anticipation, the whole body awakens to receive the treat. In one bite everything else around fades away…thoughts, senses, feelings all tie into this moment. There is a full sense of aliveness, of nourishment, of awareness and special connection in knowing that this bite can never be duplicated and would never need to be. This bite fills the space of needing anything else. At one in this moment with this sustenance, we know it is enough. That is all we need to feel complete, full, satisfied.
Each moment in life is like that bite of cake, so rich, so filling, and completely satisfying when we are aware, when we allow ourselves to be fully consumed and to fully consume the deliciousness.
The cold and dark descend upon me like heavy clouds. My focus draws inwards. Folding into that stillness without resistance brings crispness and clarity. There I discover warm radiant light in the cool crisp darkness.
The waters span wide. The air open and clear. We fly in a world of abundance yet so often we swirl in competition for the perfect bite. Jockeying for our place in the sun. Diving deep for what feeds us with such reckless abandon. But, when we soar gently on the currents of the air, watch intently for the tell-tale shadow that slides below the glistening surface of the water, in that moment the abundance shines clearly …soaring and diving, not in fear of what others might take from us, rather in knowing there is plenty and we can in every moment be freely and completely fed.
The feet are the foundation for the heart and head, the physical roots of Self. They carry us. They know our struggles. They tell our story – a story of how we have lived, our relationships with others, our deepest strengths, and where we have stood through every weakness.
Whether standing in the shadows or on the front lines of our experiences, we directly connect those experiences to our roots.
When we humbly and courageously stand under our experiences as opposed to standing up to them, we begin to open our hearts, strengthen our compassion for ourselves and others, and to exercise the most clear and powerful voice of action, that of the higher self.
We must stand under in order to understand.
You can find love anywhere…when you take love with you everywhere.
You stand here on the verge of opportunity, of expansive and lifelong joy and fulfillment, not because you are heading out into the world to receive knowledge, gifts, and experiences from the world, but because you are ready to take responsibility for who you are and the contributions you make to your world.
You hold within you everything you need, all the knowledge, all the guidance, all the tools, all the wisdom, to be great and to be happy, to feel and share goodness and empowerment. Everything you need is right there within you.
Your generous spirit and your ability to make others laugh and feel cared for goes way back to when you were little. Your empathy, sympathy, and compassion for others is great. You were always the first to pick up a friend who tumbled, to offer your spot if it helped someone feel better, to clean up a mess that wasn’t yours, or to share a smile when no one else could find theirs.
Just be sure you have as much compassion, love, and kindness for yourself.
We know your missteps, your stumbles and wobbly choices were never intended to harm and were what you needed to do to learn the power of you, to learn how to listen not to what you think or feel should be done to please others but to rely upon your inner wisdom, the tiny little voice of your heart, that knows what is right…what is really right for you. Because when you do what is right for you, it ends up making everything right around you.
Trust yourself more. Know that you don’t have to make a big splash. Honor your divine spirit and let your natural state of being sparkle. Know that your true purpose is simply to do your best…and that is enough. It truly is enough.
I will try to remember that too, especially when I pass judgment, apply expectations, and forget that you are not here to fill my dreams.
Live with vision, intention, and determination. Stay accountable for your actions – feel your freedom and self-respect grow. Go confidently forward and remain present, bypassing what might, should, and could have happened, and instead focus your energy on building a life around you of peace and acceptance.
You will most certainly face many challenges, sadness, failures, and pain. Remember those experiences are only there to help you dig deeper into discovering who you are. Surrender your decision-making to your inner wisdom, listen to your deepest self and know your greater purpose.
You are no small part of anything. Remember your greatness, your power, your love, and your joy, always…and that is what I will remember of you.
Monday Mindfulness 