It’s not in the mistakes that we make where our lessons have value, but in how we recover.
Recovery without backwards glances laced with accusations, excuses or judgment is growth. Growth is the ultimate form of healing.
Healing is recovery made good by grace, love, and kindness.
A stirring, an imbalance, an unthinkable happens and there I am…swirling in thoughts and emotions.
Although we seem unconnected, we are tethered undeniably to others’ experiences, their pain, their suffering, their anger. Their division and righteousness becomes mine, even when I don’t want it to be.
And then comes the arduous task of sifting. Sifting through the messages in all of this…not what it means to my community or the statement it makes about my society, but the fundamental lesson for me in the perceived tragedies and suffering that stand before me.
I dare not admit how my thoughts flow in circular motions…how I cannot point at the right or wrong…it all just seems to come back to me, to the fear I have that any one of them could be me.
…the “victim”…the “suffering”…the “perpetrator”…the “responsible one.”
These labels belong to my deepest shadows and like threads dancing on a loom, have long since been woven into the fabric of me.
So, I turn my anger to the scariest one in an attempt to cut that thread. And then the story unfolds, my experience is defined by calling out the grossest attributes of others although deep down inside I know they are still undeniably tethered to me, undeniably me.
It is then that I must fill with compassion, for each of them and for me. I must allow these situations and the contrast they provide to take me back to the center of my being, to turn inward and calm the swirling from the inside. Instead of needing the contrast to tug at the fabric from the outside as if separate from me, I turn inward to reweave the threads, to smooth the snag so that the fabric on the outside lays out more seamlessly.
Each time the contrast begins to pull and tug at me again, I slow the loom, treasure that thread, and remember that no matter what any of us have done or who any of us seem to be, the threads are the same – it is a complex fabric that tethers you and me.
In the midst of the storm, I feel small and helpless. There is fear that the storm will overcome me.
I know of the danger in advance, but I ignore the warnings to back away. Instead, I hunker down. That is when the floods start, conflict swirls in all directions and visibility is reduced to nothing.
My heart pounds. I struggle to catch my breath, to make logical choices, and to know how to care for me and those around me.
And then I remember back to the time when as the hurricane developed I watched it from above. I saw it’s wild bands expanding, its dark center churning. From above I could see its boundaries. From above I noticed clusters of calm, bright sky swirling in the darkness.
In every storm since, I have acknowledged that I have a choice to turn away and even when I neglect that choice, I can find calm within the bands of chaos if I can just remember flying above it.
As you navigate the path of life, never forget how special you are, how worthy you are of love. Of self-love.
Hold your own hand, cradle your own heart in your healing palms. Feel the full bond of acknowledgement, acceptance, and allowing.
When you love yourself, all the other relationships in your life will thrive. No need for anything more. For by loving yourself, you are loving all.
You are perfectly imperfect, divine and beautiful, whole in every aspect of you…just the way you are.
Love all of that, all of you, and the path will be clear.
[due to a publication glitch, the earlier version of this post was inadvertently deleted…apologies for any duplicity]
What if your daily experiences were really no different than your dreams – simply stories pieced together to provide information. Stories intended to awaken in you parts that are dormant, numb, forgotten or that would otherwise go unnoticed. Each of these stories placed before you to illuminate a potential to think, feel, and engage differently beyond what is familiar and routine.
When I move my body in a new way, I awaken unfamiliar yet exciting new connections with muscles and bones. When I move my thoughts with curiosity, not always believing I have the answer, I am no longer reticent but have rubbed the sleep from my eyes. When my emotions flow freely, even to the point of creating discomfort, I welcome the new dawn of compassion, courage, trust, and forgiveness.
I awaken an inner knowing, like the sun illuminating the sky. I am suddenly aware of something far greater than these dreams. I rise from the darkness knowing my capacity to explore, play, experiment, feel and know, all the while aware that the stories do not make me.
The pain weighs so heavy on my body,
Pressing deep into my chest,
Down into my bones,
Constricting every drop of my being.
Yet, the breath still flows
Light and free.
There is courage, hope, relief
As I recall that the pain is just a part of me.
No matter how sad, or mad, or defeated I want to feel,
The pain can never be bigger than me
Because the pain is just a part of me.
I am on the verge,
the verge of wondrous things or perhaps tremendous calamity.
It really makes no difference. The precipice is the same, the grander just the same.
There is beauty in it all,
Grace in it all,
Peace in it all,
Because all is love.
All is love.
I am whole.
I am complete.
I am not waiting for anything.
I am aware of all that is going on inside and all around me.
There is choice at the base of my every action.
I am powerful and free.
I am responsible.
I am response-ABLE.
There is a sweet moment in sailing when the two sails, the main and the jib, are trimmed so precisely — balanced, as a captain would call it — that the boat seems to sail itself, rising on the wind, gliding through the water, you can even let go of the wheel and the boat will stay its course., tuning itself to the angles of the wind, knowing what it needs best.
Our make up is not much different than that of a sailboat. For, when we connect body and mind in seamless balance, the vessel of intuition takes flight and the higher Self is free to let go of the wheel, to trust each piece to do its part in divine equilibrium to sail us forward most efficiently, most powerfully, most joyfully and full of ease.
Some call it a true art to be a captain who sails a balanced ship. Take the time to trim your sails, to feel the wind, to know what it is you need, and to find your balance.
Sometimes things may look old, rundown, plain or dreary as you dash quickly by. Whatever the condition of the outside, the edges of the frame you see, you can always find a space of light, of color, of beauty, alive in the heart.
Monday Mindfulness 