Monday Mindfulness

Cultivating Strength, Joy, Calm & Resilience

Category Archives: coaching


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The fruits of loss

For so long I have worked to convert false and illusory love into something genuine and real.

I took every secret, every lie, and tried to make good of it, convert it with my own love, and hold it in my heart as if somehow sacred.

It cut me off from believing I was worthy or capable of experiencing authentic love…so much so that I lost the connection to my own self love.

My heart never forgot. It diligently safeguarded that little piece of me while it held all the other illusions and hopes.

The portion of my heart that held onto dreams of apologies and repair finally grew so heavy and full of empty promises that it ripped itself away. Painfully it twisted and tugged, like an overripe piece of fruit trying to resist gravity’s pull. It finally fell away. Oh the sorrow. Even letting go of something rancid and rotting is still a severing, a deep and real loss.

As that fruit of my broken heart smashed to the ground, its void still consuming my awareness, little seeds of potentiality embedded in the ground. I saw in them hopes that somehow we have all learned from these lessons of untrue love.

Somehow we will remember that without filling there can be no emptying. Without love there is no hope. Without unabashed openness and courage, the fruit cannot ripen and go on to somehow grow into something beautiful.

And in the meantime, the void from the fallen fruit begins to fill with new leaves.


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Self-Centered

I follow my breath to the small, tender space of my heart.

This is where I find security and assurance.

This is where in the quiet and stillness I hear the sweet voice of my Self.

I feel the very center point of my existence.

From this center, I am clear as to what I am and what I am not.

From this center, I am kind, courageous, creative, curious,

and, oh, so, very smart and strong.

From this center, there is enough of me to hold both of us joyfully in our play as humans.

From this center, bright light radiates out and all around me full of unconditional love that doesn’t just give and fix and please.

No, this bright, magnificent light protects, defines, and honors my deepest self which in return brings forward my best self for all of us.

Centered in my Self I know more clearly who I am, and who I am not, washing away fear and doubt, posturing and grasping, and external pressures to conform or contract.

Centered in my Self I experience peace and confidence, ease and joy, harmony and health.

I long to be Self centered.


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Bare Roots

The rest of the trees in the woods seem to stand so confident, so steady.

The storms have not hindered their ability to carry on.

And there I lay right next to them…toppled to the ground,

Root exposed.

So vulnerable and feeling like such a failure.

No longer am I the source of shade, fresh air, and refuge for the birds.

How could I be so weak?

How could I let so many down?

As I lay across the forest floor I feel the earth not just at my base but nestling in all along my spine, roots to branches.

I feel the soft mud, leaves of seasons past, and creatures that inhabit the ground delighting in my arrival.

New spaces to be cradled, to play in, and explore.

I am no longer giving nourishment through my leaves and breath but I am feeding the forest now with my whole being.

I am no longer drawing from the source of nourishment at my roots but I am the source itself.

With roots exposed, like bearing the deepest corners of my heart, I have nothing to protect and everything to give.

Fallen and seemingly over my prime, I am just now realizing that my purpose was not to stand tall but to fall into an even more grand state of being.


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Indelible

Step softly, so that the heart of the earth feels the massage of your gentle touch and yet you leave no visible marks on her outer edges.

Speak confidently with love so that your words are heard clearly without hurting.

Experience wide open spaces without taking up residency or ownership.

Follow the rising sun as the rippling wake of warmth washing over the landscape.

Offer cool crevices like the moon without swallowing up the light.

Be your most wild, magnificent, vibrant self, touching the world lightly and leaving an indelible mark.


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Weeping

How can something weeping be so beautiful?

Branches sinking towards the ground,

heavy with the promise of spring.

Blossoms like tears,

dripping from overflowing eyes.

Swaying soulfully in the wind, the blossoms sing a song not of loss but of rebirth.

These branches remind us to remain soft,

to bend and hang low,

to let life flow.

See the beauty and freshness that comes with letting go.

With the same courage that the tree has in these uncertain temperatures and conditions to bravely unfurl its blossoms,

weeping thoroughly,

signs of growth,

remind us of the beauty in letting our tears flow

for behind them comes a richness of life and growth

the likes of which have never been seen or felt before.


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Unhindered

Open your wings, my heart said.

Trust your senses to guide you, my intuition said.

The air currents are too complex and the terrain too rough for you to navigate said my mind…

Are you sure you can find your way?

It’s too risky said my body to go out on your own and ride the sky.

It takes confidence and a release of all fear.

Against the advice of familiar patterns, out-purposed behaviors, and nagging beliefs, I spread my wings.

I launch and take flight unsure of where I will go, unsure of what nourishment I may or may not find, what challenges I may or may not face, and what gifts I may or may not discover.

As my feet lift off the ground, euphoria fills me knowing that my destiny is in the flight itself, not what it brings or where it goes but in the unbridled courage and curiosity that soar with me, reminding me who I really am.


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Rising from the Rubble

I had no idea that as I tore down the wall to rescue my abandoned self that I would nearly smother in the rubble.

Even when loss is experienced in a way that relieves abuse, abandonment and betrayal, the disruption it causes and the pain of breaking through the barriers to healing oneself are great.

And those who helped to build the wall, who reveled in the obstructing and ostracizing of that true self, walk away unphased by the devastation left behind. They go on to build thicker walls around themselves and others.

While their departure ensures the wall they left behind is not reinforced, it hurts that they do nothing to help remove the heavy stones, broken shards, and pieces of what they worked so relentlessly to build.

That burden rests on the shoulders of the self behind the wall. One by one the stones are slid aside. The dust settles. The light starts to shine through the piles and pieces as the opening grows wider and wider.

The power in seeing that self emerge, pale and weak at first – labored breathing, heavy and slow moving, still patiently and methodically forging ahead and finding its way – is so sweet to witness…even in its efforting.

That self digging out from the rubble need not feel animosity, anger, or resentment. No, that self is not needing to be rescued.

That self is triumphing in the freedom of self-acknowledgment, self-care, and self-worth.

Much of the power in healing comes from the self not needing to be rescued. The power is in putting aside the rubble and freeing oneself.


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Shape Shifting

For just a moment,

I breathe.

Stories begin to evaporate.

Expectations

Fear

Doubt

Dissipate

Ceasing to exist without the stories.

Spreading my fingers, I release the hold,

Unbridle the mind

Widen the heart

Let it all go.

Clearing spaces

I grow lighter

Longer

Looser

Expanding

Into lightness

I deepen my capacity

I feel into my power.

My power is

Joyful

Assured

Easy

Bright

Clear

Not taking on a particular form, shifting fluidly between states and forms as they serve me.

Diving into limitless potentiality

Alive with creativity

I can be

or do

anything

Or nothing.

Feeling into my greatness

There lies freedom to choose.

Growing

Into my capacity.

I am powerful

Whatever shape I choose.


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Perseverance

When the sea is the roughest,

I go even slower,

allowing the turbulence to inform.

I do not tighten or resist.

I find the entry point

to the calmest opening.

I seek just one, small space

in which to access trust…

in me…

and the wave.


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Fearless Living

Once there was an old belief that said,

“I am afraid…afraid of hurting others because I feel their hurt as if my own…hurting others jeopardizes my relationships and in that I run the risk of feeling their anger or worse, their scorn and disappointment. It is better to deny my joy than risk upsetting theirs.”

For a long, long time that belief walked confidently along its path unhindered. One day, it stumbled on that well worn path upon a rock of joy. It tripped over pebbles of power, and fell upon a bolder of truthfulness. As the belief lost its balance, it fell into a net of beautiful jewels all connected by a golden thread of love, of creativity, kindness, and great joy.

The belief grasped at the edges of the path, grappled with the sensation of free falling, longing for the predictable order of its existence. In the blinding beauty of the sparkling jewels, the belief had no choice but to release its fear, to drop into the wide and open net, to be held by a greater force in the space of free will and joy.

Gradually, the belief allowed itself to let go of the path and discovered its power to attract truthfulness and joy. It found that in that vibration there was no room for fear, hurt, or loneliness…only love.