Hope twinkles like tiny stars.
Courage forms in the constellations of small hopes coming together.
Darkness besets as guidance,
a backdrop for creation,
clarity, and definition.
Once the constellation appears,
even when darkness fades,
even when engulfed in light,
the stars are connected,
the constellation remains,
for once seen it can never be forgotten.
There is not one giant awakening.
There is no detachment from pain.
There is not one moment of clarity that instantly falls upon the eyes or mind. There is not one instant one experiences freedom.
It happens bit by bit.
Awakening in the darkness,
in the suffering,
in the discomfort,
and in the dis-ease.
We begin to know it, like a dear and cherished friend.
There is a gradual unclogging, unfogging, and unraveling – that is the mystery of change.
That is the beauty of opening oneself to the potentiality of growing into something different.
Bit by bit, moment by moment, like pieces of a puzzle, thoughts and feeling, sensation and experiences, twist and turn and gradually find their way to fit together.
In that coming together, there is a sense of harmony and ease, perhaps even joy, that surfaces on the horizon,
not in overcoming the obstacles,
not in seeing the finished product,
but in feeling the creative process and drinking it all in.
I know not how
to befriend you.
There are no words or actions that I have learned
to guide me in this seemingly simple endeavor.
Yet I sense
it is crucial to my survival.
I long to connect
and belong.
It is not for a lack of love
or desire
that I appear
so unwilling or unable
to conduct myself as
a friend.
I simply do not know how.
I do know my capacity to love and the kind space that exists
within me
so ready to receive and serve you.
All I can do right now is
breathe in,
expanding and opening myself
just a little more,
building trust in my inner knowing
that I am part of the unseen bond that exists between us all,
and that your care and patience will help me find my way.
With each exhale, I extend myself
slowly and courageously
Into the edges and folds of you
in hopes that my melding
feels as gentle
and loving
as I intend it to be.
Hold happy,
Tenderly like a baby bird,
Freely like a paintbrush,
Opening like the ocean.
Let in roll and splash.
Let it rock and sway.
Let it ripple and toss
With laughter and lightness.
But most of all
Let it be fully expressed
Without letting it go.
Let happy be
A natural extension
Of all that you do
Until all you are is happy.
I came into this world knowing only me.
Somewhere along the way,
As I grew to know there were others,
I let them define who I came to be.
I thought I should follow.
And as a child, like a duckling, I did.
For that was my only sure source of food, shelter, survival.
But along the way, I noticed
I could forage, swim, and tuck my beak into my own wings
in a way unique to me.
It didn’t mean the others were wrong…
I just didn’t seem to be an exact fit to how they did these things.
I wrestled with knowing that I could make it on my own.
I convinced myself that I still needed to follow and be how and what they dictated.
And then one day, I gave it a small try.
I wandered a little farther away.
I showed up last to the waters edge.
I sat a bit longer in the sun than the rest.
There I found ease and a new sense of knowing.
The aloneness still haunts me from time to time as I am now no longer part of that brood.
And yes swimming on my own takes a new kind of effort.
But I’ve noticed
The others haven’t gone away.
Just their influence over my choices has.
Now we search for food near each other but don’t have to fight for the same piece.
We gather closer together when we need warmth and give space as needed.
We swim in the same waters but no longer in each other’s wake.
It’s a new way of existing,
This coming back to knowing me,
And it seems to be just the way it is supposed to be.
Not coy,
confident.
Not tethered,
anchored.
Not drifting,
opening.
Rooted in the earth.
Expanding the mind,
not with thought derived from past experiences but with ideas inspired by the unknown.
Capable.
Clear.
Strong.
Assured not in the direction in which I will head but in the magnificence of who and where I am right now.
For when the stillness and quiet fade,
I will continue to embody grace and power.
I will not forget that I am
omnipotent.
Step softly, so that the heart of the earth feels the massage of your gentle touch and yet you leave no visible marks on her outer edges.
Speak confidently with love so that your words are heard clearly without hurting.
Experience wide open spaces without taking up residency or ownership.
Follow the rising sun as the rippling wake of warmth washing over the landscape.
Offer cool crevices like the moon without swallowing up the light.
Be your most wild, magnificent, vibrant self, touching the world lightly and leaving an indelible mark.
How can something weeping be so beautiful?
Branches sinking towards the ground,
heavy with the promise of spring.
Blossoms like tears,
dripping from overflowing eyes.
Swaying soulfully in the wind, the blossoms sing a song not of loss but of rebirth.
These branches remind us to remain soft,
to bend and hang low,
to let life flow.
See the beauty and freshness that comes with letting go.
With the same courage that the tree has in these uncertain temperatures and conditions to bravely unfurl its blossoms,
weeping thoroughly,
signs of growth,
remind us of the beauty in letting our tears flow
for behind them comes a richness of life and growth
the likes of which have never been seen or felt before.
When I feel rich,
My breath is full and steady,
My brain is open and organized,
My body is calm and healthy.
When I think I am rich,
There is no striving or grasping,
I am courageous and confident,
Projects move forward and my work is authentic.
When I believe I am rich,
I am grateful.
There is no rush to accomplish anything.
I am focused and clear.
I make powerful and positive decisions.
When I know I am rich,
All fears of unworthiness, lack, and disappointment dissolve.
Opportunities and answers arrive easily.
Wealth occurs naturally.
Love flows freely.
On the other side of the door
Is a bright spacious light
Guiding me into confidence,
Inviting my voice to be heard,
My gifts to be shared.
I replace worry with curiosity,
Hunger with satiation,
Hope with appreciation,
And old patterns and beliefs
With the great, beautiful unknown.
Flashes of doubt and distractions hold me back, producing a veiled illusion that I’m not ready.
I was born ready.
I am here to be curious.
I am here to expand,
To learn
To grow
To create again and again,
To step more and more into me.
The hinges are well-greased,
There are no locks.
Softly I focus my gaze,
Clear my throat,
Open my heart,
And turn the knob.
Monday Mindfulness 