Grief…it’s not about the loss as much as creating and being able to access a little warm place in your heart where you hold that connection forever.
I used to think that grief was the act of severing ties and throwing away something special because it was lost.
But now I know that grief is a process of storing the memories of the specialness of every experience regardless of its labels, conditions, and how it came to be or not be.
Grief is experiencing the loss without getting lost.
I know I am part of the cosmos,
a little spec of star dust put here on this earth to sparkle.
I am meant to connect with other particles of the universe to create something greater.
Some times I feel I’m not bright or powerful enough to pull it off.
Sometimes it seems my internal guidance needs calibration…signal weak, lost.
Other times I foolishly try to shine all on my own.
But the energy it takes to stand apart, to try to be the universe on my own
quickly brings me to exhaustion.
It is only when I recognize the I, the me, the we and the shared power in our communal healing and being
That I become the vibrant, harmonious, full sense of who I really am.
Whether by myself or with many,
Warm or cold,
In a place familiar or the unknown,
At the moment I begin to feel disconnected,
I wrap myself in my memories and experiences,
The times when I felt or longed for love,
And those precious moments I encountered,
even if just briefly,
the unconditional essence of my being,
Always there, all ways there.
Cloaked in this love, I am never alone.
Taking flight,
balanced in the nature of giving and receiving,
knowing that leaning too heavily into one force or the other will take me off course,
Cause me to tumble.
In order to give, I must receive.
To receive requires generosity.
When I balance these complementary forces I experience the grace and ease that can only be realized when I move from the center of my being,
Wings extended,
Heart open.
Souring on the currents of life.
When the energy in a situation gets big do you get bigger?
When the energy gets big, do you get littler?
Neither is right or wrong, they just produce different effects.
Where I match the energy carefully and skillfully in its bigness, riding the inhale to its peak, I can take that energy by the hand and usher it to a more stable space.
When I remain small in the big energy I model a means to come back to center, a way to arrive home on the wave of the exhale.
So I can choose whether to breathe in and ride up or breathe out and come back. Where I get into trouble is if I only head one way and forget that there is an inhale and an exhale in every encounter and that big and little are compliments as much as contrasts.
Settling into my breath, I find the spot where the inhale meets the exhale – the moment of attachment of my body to the breath, the point of connection to my inner knowing.
At that point, I find stillness. Projecting from that stillness is a clear and receptive space of awareness.
From that awareness, I follow the path of least effort to discover my intention – the sensation, word or object that reflects my true state of being. In that intention I find reassurance, guidance, and confirmation in my decision making.
I sit for a moment longer in the stillness, awareness and intention until I can let go of all discomfort. Full of ease and comfort, my sails fill confidently with my inner knowing, fulfilling my purpose and potential.
Finding stillness, awareness, intention, and letting go, I sail away home.
I find fear exhausting.
Negative thoughts so draining.
Judgment and greed just tie me up in knots.
Why do we have to find fault and blame?
My breath flows so freely when I express kind words.
My muscles glide with ease as I extend gratitudes.
Joy makes my whole body sparkle.
This bright side is where I want to live,
no pain in perceived inferiority,
no striving or comparing,
no forgetting that everyone is always doing their best
and mistakes are the delightful gifts we are given to develop our curiosity, wonder, and awe.
Meet me here in this place of freedom to be the splendid, courageous, bright and imperfect beings that we are intended to be.
When I tap into the channels of giving, grace, and peace in me, I become a place of respite.
Like a leaf offering shade or a branch to swing upon, I bend and sway to provide a universal place for all to play and rest,
where we can breathe, soften, and melt into the essence of our being.
For when I open these channels of love to you, my roots find strength.
I stretch into my purpose.
Together we branch out.
In our oneness, we more fully expand into who we are each meant to be.
Scattered like the ripest fruit falling away from the tree, petals melt to the ground bearing the raw, delicate heart of the flower.
The breeze carries the evolution of being on its wing.
It is jarring, turbulent, and so beautiful…the scattering…
the falling apart to make something new.
When I feel angry, my world appears abrasive and confrontational.
When I am confused, all is cold and insensitive.
The more beautiful my world feels, the more gentle and receptive it seems.
As I play in this world with wonder, curiosity, and awe, the world invites me to laugh and be free.
When I feel wrapped in care and comfort, I find the world worthy of love.
My world is a reflection of my beliefs, a reflection of what I see on the inside.
My world gives me just what I see.
This is what is real, as long as this is the story I want to see.
Monday Mindfulness 