Can you turn your face to the wind and welcome it?
Does the air upon your face invite inquiry?
Opening all of your senses to each moment can be so freeing, exhilarating, curious, pleasantly undefinable.
Relaxing into the current of wind pulsing against my face, I need no answers, I need no direction.
Turning into the wind reminds me what it is to be alive in this body at this time.
Close your eyes, relax your cheeks, open wide and invite the winds of life to press into and delight you.
I purr when I am happy. I also purr when I am fearful to invite the calm I seek.
I am quick to recognize the energy around me, to smooth it out and rest in it, or walk away in order to disperse it and remain connected to my natural state of being.
I don’t question my intuition and do greatly enjoy sharing my space with you when you are relaxed into your authentic self.
I settle in when it feels good and move away from what does not serve me.
I am there with you, where you are present for me. That is how it always should be.
Just humming along, everything seeming to go according to plan.
Then, there it is…the morsel of doubt…the blip in confidence…suddenly I have lost my way.
On the outside the path appears unchanged but on the inside the screen has just gone dark.
In that blip, that fractional space of darkness, I am momentarily paralyzed by thoughts that I am not all that…I don’t know what I’m doing…I become lost in judgment and expectations.
Everyone has them, those points of doubt when the screen seems to go blank. That’s when we must dig deep and patiently allow the system a chance to reboot, clearing out the malware and drawing on the back up files of imagination, courage, and wisdom to stay the course.
And then the blip is gone.
In the darkness, fear and anger deepen their grip on me. Bumping up against ideals, opinions, and stories that I have formed, with urgency I am compelled to avenge imbalances and inequities. I dash in to sweep up the broken pieces of what I perceive as attacks against me and struggle surrounding me. I am driven to defend principles that through my ego’s eye define me.
This posture that I take implies superiority and gives way to judgment. In my rush to right the wrongs, I become the being I so justly argue against. Resentment bubbles up and my ego says, “they are not worthy…they should be punished…they do not belong…silence them…shun them.”
And then my heart whispers, “wait…they too are suffering.” Those opinions I defend and just as importantly those I oppose are here to guide, test, and inform me.
To release my struggle, my fear, my anger, and my suffering, others do not need to pay a conjured debt for who they are.
Compassion, patience, and trust become my weapons against the injustices, inequities, and imbalances that swirl around me.
Allowing it all to exist and maintaining harmony, care, and peace…that is the true work of an activist.
My heart feels quickly, as if flowing on subtle currents in the air. Ego moves faster, thrusting against the wind. Emotions lag behind but still they dance closely together, ego and feelings.
Guided by the dance, I strut and swirl around with urgency, bravado, and sprawling feathers. Responding to surface winds, impulsively flying in a defensive posture, these auto-pilot movements are built on the residue of my stories.
Something shifts and suddenly I am still. For a moment, my intuition takes the lead. There is no need for flight , no rush to action. I know all I need to know as I slow these frenetic motions.
I land. I unruffle. In the not-doing, I am even more than I was just moments before. I hang here in the peace and stillness of slow-looking.
When I land, I am my most powerful.
In the midst of the storm, I feel small and helpless. There is fear that the storm will overcome me.
I know of the danger in advance, but I ignore the warnings to back away. Instead, I hunker down. That is when the floods start, conflict swirls in all directions and visibility is reduced to nothing.
My heart pounds. I struggle to catch my breath, to make logical choices, and to know how to care for me and those around me.
And then I remember back to the time when as the hurricane developed I watched it from above. I saw it’s wild bands expanding, its dark center churning. From above I could see its boundaries. From above I noticed clusters of calm, bright sky swirling in the darkness.
In every storm since, I have acknowledged that I have a choice to turn away and even when I neglect that choice, I can find calm within the bands of chaos if I can just remember flying above it.
I love finding joy in unusual places.
In the raindrop that pokes my cheek and the wind that tosses my hair.
In the pattern of seeds that accidentally scatter on the floor.
In the slow looking that comes with the crowd of cars extending my commute.
In the exhale.
Here I am in my natural state of being. I feel no urgency, only a sense of calm and strength. I begin to know the essence of love.
Maybe finding joy is my super power.
As you navigate the path of life, never forget how special you are, how worthy you are of love. Of self-love.
Hold your own hand, cradle your own heart in your healing palms. Feel the full bond of acknowledgement, acceptance, and allowing.
When you love yourself, all the other relationships in your life will thrive. No need for anything more. For by loving yourself, you are loving all.
You are perfectly imperfect, divine and beautiful, whole in every aspect of you…just the way you are.
Love all of that, all of you, and the path will be clear.
[due to a publication glitch, the earlier version of this post was inadvertently deleted…apologies for any duplicity]
I don’t need a “why.” I just need an “oh.”
Noticing something, my mind quickly jumps in to create a story.
I have this sensation. I will label it. I will now connect it to good or bad. My mind will attach it to a memory and define it as an experience.
How splendid it would be to just notice with curiosity, not the critical mind, as each thought occurs like drops of water. Inquisitively, I watch the water dripping, not seeking to explain its circumstance but simply present in its occurrence.
Awareness without analysis, knowledge for discovery, not proof or justification.
When I “oh” instead of “why”, I “be” instead of “do.”
I no longer have weekdays and weekends. I simply have days.
I no longer have good days or bad days. I simply have days.
Some days feel heavier and on those days I go slow.
Some days feel lighter and on those days I shine a bit brighter.
Whether heavy or light, I live fully and freely in each day.
It feels better to live without labels.
Monday Mindfulness 